Southern Hospitality is Alive and Well...All Over!

Despite being far from home I feel at home. My daughter and I traveled over 2,400 miles on her relocation road trip from Washington State to Nashville, Tennessee, and everywhere we’ve stayed we have been treated like royalty family. 

For the first three nights of our road trip my hubby arranged hotels. (Thank you Marriott points!) We experienced comfy beds and free breakfasts. At my in-laws we enjoyed family time and comfort food. At my Mom’s new retirement home we got the unconditional love and pampering only a Mama can provide. Every resident had heard about Janie, so I felt a bit famous. I also got sister time!!  Two nights at the Barrington Suite were followed by a night at my dear friend’s home; laughter, flannel sheets and yummy bagels were all given to us in love. 

We were not, however, expecting to be treated like family by new friends who we’d never met. A co-worker of my husband and his fiance’ opened their beautiful home to us in Brentwood, TN. The hospitality, meals and love we’ve been shown has been astounding. 

I want to remember how this feels and pass it on. Not only have they shared their lovely home and pets with us, but also delicious dinners, conversation and clothes! Our “hostess” gave my daughter a lot of outfits that she was going to take to a consignment shop; they’re beautiful, they fit, and she’s even wearing one today for interviews. (God is a God of details.) She also gave her a classy tote and loaned her a dress coat. She just met us on Saturday!!

I want to obey any promptings from the holy spirit and give freely. I want to hold my belongings loosely and be ready to pass them on to whoever needs something. I’ve always tried to make our home a haven to anyone who needs a spot. I’ve welcomed friends, family (we’re so far they hardly get to come), college kids and even a foreign exchange student into our home. I’ve cleaned, cooked, and been somewhat of a tour guide. Sometimes though, I start feeling imposed on, and I have to "check my attitude". I want to have the attitude of our new friend~passing on unexpected blessings. 

Never underestimate how random acts of kindness can bring encouragement. My daughter has complete trust in Jesus. She knows He’ll provide. This Mama says she trusts, but it blesses my heart to see things falling into place for my daughter before I have to board a plane tomorrow headed to Seattle and leave her here in Nashville to begin the next chapter in her story. 

God keeps confirming that she is doing the right thing. Our road trip was without incident, she has a fabulous place to stay until she finds her own affordable little apartment, her interviews are going great, and she even got invited to join a 20-something small group at the church we visited on Sunday. 

Just like in the Seahawks vs. 49ers game when the momentum shifted in our favor, things are in her favor. I see glimpses of love and grace surrounding my girlie. SHE never doubted God would provide. 

"And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?"

Luke 12:28 

I believe Nashville is going to be a very good place for my favorite second child. Y’all tune in again for updates on my Nashville girl. We’re heading downtown tonight since I fly home tomorrow. Maybe we’ll bump into one of my favorite country artists?!

In His Grip, Jane

My Word for 2014

We rang 2014 in quietly with a movie at home and some bubbly.  The tree is down and been dragged across the street to the nature area that totally blocks our view of Mt. Rainer, and the road trip I’m taking with my daughter who is relocating to Nashville begins in three days. Before I begin packing, I am finally updating my Iphone 4 (it worked!) and I decided what my one word for the new year will be.

Rain is today’s word. After a few weeks of glorious dry weather and some sunshine, the Northwest is back to it’s typical rain and gloom. I’m not going to whine too much, since I'm getting daily reports from my family in Chicago and Indianapolis about their weather. Their one word to describe it is COLD!

For the last several years I have chosen one word to focus on, rather than making a list of resolutions that look good written down but never quite happen. I chose Journey my first year and it certainly was fitting since we had major changes happening. Joy was the next year; I had to make a conscious effort to choose joy every day despite my circumstances.

Last year my word was TRUST. Over 365 days later, I’m still convinced it was the exact word for me in 2013. I was given many opportunities to put my word into action. God is always good and trustworthy, even when bad things happen in the world and to people we love...

I've been pondering over this year’s word for a couple months. Actually, the word I chose was suggested to me by a very good friend (thanks Sue!) My one word for 2014 is FREE. 

 I’ve done the Beth Moore bible study, Breaking Free, The Journey, The Stories, but I still need to remember that I have complete freedom because of Christ. My list of “things” I need to be free from will keep evolving. Certain things pop into my head quickly; I hope to BE FREE...from people pleasing, insecurity, talking when I should be listening, from worry, from lack of self-control, from insomnia, from envy, from comparison, from fear, and on and on my list goes...

I want to live FREE as I lean into the truth of who God is and who he created me to be. 

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

I discovered a website that puts you with a “tribe” who pick the same word. Check out 

One Word 365. The site can help you choose a word and then connect with others! 

Have you picked your one word for 2014?

In His Grip, 

jane

Lessons Learned in December

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

I'm wishing all who read my tiny little blog a very Happy New Year!! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas with loved ones and that you had the opportunity to create moments to treasure. Here are six things I learned this month:

ALWAYS use your turn signal. Use your turn signal even if there isn’t a car behind you! Why? Well, because you just might be driving behind a sheriff who is watching you in his rearview mirror. Yes, he pulled over, and then pulled US over. My husband got a ticket for failing to signal (We were on the way to the hospital for a medical test for my back pain and then we got to add more $$$pain to our day.) Merry Christmas to you too Officer Un-friendly! (Imagine Miss Piggy's voice from The Muppets Christmas Carol.)

Saying you are simplifying the holiday season and not stressing over details could really just be procrastination.  Am I the only one who realized that putting off choosing pictures and ordering a Christmas card might transpire into NO cards being created and sent for 2013? It’s the first time that’s happened in 30 years of marriage! I’m still debating making and sending Happy New Year’s cards. Any thoughts? I also put off cookie baking, so there weren’t all the delicious choices stored in the freezer that I had envisioned. 

A weak Transverse abdominis might send you to the E.R. and if you’ve ever been pregnant or had a baby (or four), you shouldn’t do sit-ups. (I  learned the sit-up fact yesterday at Physical Therapy.) My PT gal explained that there are lots of other ways to strengthen my non-existent core muscles that are better for the female body. Why was I at Physical Therapy? Well, two weeks ago I lifted one of my favorite little people and apparently I didn’t have a strong Transverse abdominis and my back went “out”. The pain progressed enough that after I saw my Chiropractor, my doctor, and had a test, I ended up in E.R. the Saturday before Christmas where I received the gift of Narcotics.  I missed work, a meeting, a party, and basically was not my usual Jolly Jane in the days leading up to Christmas. We still managed to pull off our annual Open House party that weekend thanks to my hubby and kids pitching in and me releasing some of my need for perfection. Every day my back gets a little better.

The latest People magazine said that Kerry Washington is expecting her first child. Does that mean Olivia Pope on Scandal gets to be pregnant too? If so, will the baby be President Fitzgerald’s or Jake Ballard’s? Have you been watching Scandal? 

Sappy holiday movies bring me so much joy! I love watching Christmas movies on Lifetime and the Hallmark channel. I need to start watching sweet movies throughout the year when my husband is out of town (They would balance out the intensity and gore of Scandal!) My very favorite one I watched was The Twelve Trees of Christmas. 

Sometimes your “word of the year” becomes more than just a “word”. I’ve decided parenting now that my "babies" are all in their twenties is a tad more challenging than when they were actual babies. I continue to want to protect our four kids but they get to make their own decisions now. I have to release control and trust God. Hmmm...TRUST was my word of the year for 2013 and now I need to really DO it.  My #2 child is moving to Nashville and the Jeep heads East in twelve days. (She hasn’t secured a job or a spot to live...she HAS heard and felt God calling her there, so in faith, she’s obeying. I get to road-trip across the country with her, visit my Mom and sisters on the way and TRUST that God is working out the details. (She just got a voicemail this morning that she has a teaching interview at a preschool when she arrives...can you please shoot up prayers for her?)

As 2013 draws to a close I am deciding on my new “word for the year”, looking around at decorations that need to be packed up and feeling thankful that I had all four of my children home this Christmas. I’ve been looking at pictures from our special week together knowing that even though I can’t know what  the future holds, I have memories to treasure. 

 “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Luke 2:19

I’m linking up with Emily Freeman at Chatting at the Sky. What did you learn in December?

In His Grip, Jane

Photo source: http://www.irishculture.org/events/2013/12/31/upcoming-events/annual-new-year-s-eve-celebration/

Christmas Count-downs at the Carver’s

Do you do count-downs at your house? We’ve got several going on and most of them are bringing me joy!

~2 days until my college boy gets home for Christmas break. Yay! He’s bringing his special girl for us to meet...

~10 days until our annual Open House. Hopefully I can keep the place clean and tidy until then!

~11 days until my hair appointment my oldest and his bride arrive. I’m SO excited to have all seven of us together for Christmas!! (Yes, I'm also excited to get my hair done.)

~One month until I hop in the Jeep with my daughter and road trip with her to Nashville. Mixed feelings on this countdown because it means she’s moving across the country. It means half my family will be living in the Midwest!

~13 days until Christmas. What? I’ve barely shopped for my family, the Christmas card hasn’t even been created let alone mailed, and I’ve only baked one batch of cookies. Even if I'm not ready for Christmas, it's coming. My heart is ready, and that's more important! 

Perhaps I’m finally learning not to hurry so much, but to cherish this Advent season. There are times when it’s OK to hurry. (Like the night the angels appeared to the shepherds.)

“They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger.” Luke 2:16

I’d like to think I’m thinking more about the gift of Jesus, than buying gifts. I’m treasuring this home and beautiful area I currently live in since I know it’s probably our last Christmas in this house and I’ve learned things change...

This was my view this morning on my walk. Yep, God creates beauty.

~Less than 3 hours until I leave for work. I can’t ignore this countdown; time to get busy!

In His Grip, Jane

Mrs. Fixit is Grappling

If there is a Star Trek, Next Generation remake, I might audition for the role of Counselor Deanna Troi. Her task was to feel what people were going through (extra sensory empathy). I apparently have the same ability, although in the bible it is called the "gift of mercy." If I hear sad news I can immediately put myself in their shoes. I imagine what they’re going through and my heart hurts for them~it is physically painful.

I have been in pain for a local family ever since I discovered early Thursday morning that there had been a horrendous house fire Wednesday night on the other side of our island. A very large waterfront home was burned quickly to the ground. That in itself is terribly tragic, but there was also loss of life. The Mom and two children made it out in time... the father and an eight year old little girl did not.

Amidst this season of Joy a terrible, horrific event like this occurred and I can’t “fix” it. I couldn’t sleep Thursday night; even though I’d taken a sleep aide, my mind and heart were more powerful than the meds. I kept thinking about the survivors. Perhaps God needed me awake to pray? Praying didn’t seem like enough. 

I grappled with God. I know God doesn’t cause evil things to happen in our fallen world; He was just as devastated that his children died. But that is where I grapple. (One definition in the Webster dictionary is “to come to grips with: wrestle”.) Why couldn’t the whole family get out in time?

I am a fixer~sort of like the character in the Busytown books by Richard Scarry. If someone has a problem, I want to solve it. My hubby reminds me that it’s not my job to fix things and always be thinking up solutions. My job is to listen, trust, and point people to Jesus. He is the only one who can ultimately bring comfort and peace and he doesn't mind if we wrestle with him. 

Even in times of great sadness there can be moments of joy and laughter. I celebrated joy yesterday at a sweet baby girl’s one year birthday party. There is nothing cuter than a baby without a shirt on, diving into a chocolate cake! 

Life is a gift that we must cherish daily. Christmastime reminds all of us that the best gift EVER given was the sweet baby Jesus.

The outpouring of love for the Babson family has been tremendous. Gifts of money, clothes, items, meals and prayers have been flowing in. Please join me in praying for Dr. Babson’s family. You can find out more here.

In His Grip, Jane

Lessons Learned in November: Some Black Fridays are Darker Than Others and Other Random Things

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with loved ones and you are gearing up for a month full of celebrations of Christ’s birthday. I’m linking up with Emily Freeman and “What I learned in November.” 

1. My Mom has a “Liquor Locker”:
What is that, you ask? Well...the residents of her new senior center each have a spot they can keep their favorite alcohol down in the dining hall. A nice gentleman offered my Mom some Kahlua on her scoop of vanilla ice cream. Pretty fun, huh? She has Drambuie and some other liquors she's had for years that she'll get to enjoy with new friends. By the time you’re a Senior Citizen you’ve learned to share...

2. Bloody Mary cocktails were named after a person:
I didn’t used to like V-8 or tomato juice but then I discovered Spicy V8 and Bloody Mary’s. The cocktail was named named after Queen Mary of England. Mary Tudor was the daughter of King Henry the VIII. You can find out more about her sad life here. Lots of red blood involved...

3. Dogs accept disappointments:
I felt so guilty. I had missed Sydney’s 3rd birthday last month because we were in Indiana. Instead we celebrated her “adoption day” on November 1st by giving her a Butler University collar. She didn’t seem impressed. She doesn’t care about birthdays or anniversaries, just time spent with her “people”. Wednesday afternoon my hubby and daughter took Sydney to the vet to get her toenails trimmed and then headed to our local brewery. I met them after I got off work. It was too chilly to stay out in the Beer Garden so we tied Sydney to a pole and went in for a Harvest Ale while waiting for our college son to arrive for the weekend. Sydney never barked (good puppy!) and let lots of strangers pet her. People don't always talk to strangers but they always talk to doggies...

4. Sometimes little details matter:
A few years ago I accidentally left sugar out of the pumpkin pie I baked to take to a friend’s pot-luck dessert party. NOT GOOD. Last night as we took a bite of the pumpkin bars I made and we realized something was quite wrong...something was missing. Sugar? We think. Luckily we were all full from the fabulous feast. I think I could have a good idea for a new game show~"What’s the missing ingredient?"...

5. You can laugh about parenting:
Check out Michael McIntyre and prepare to laugh.

6. Some Black Friday’s are blacker than others:
This is a hard day for me. Back in 1998 I was on a shopping trip with women/friends from my neighborhood. We had pitched in and chartered a bus to enjoy a fun day of shopping. We had Mimosas and pastries on the way up to Seattle and were going to enjoy Champagne and snacks on the way back from Issaquah. My Mom was visiting from Indiana. My “un-smart” cell phone rang late in the day. My next door neighbor was calling to tell me there had been an accident. I could hear moaning and other noises in the background. My hubby had been putting up Christmas lights and fell off the roof onto our driveway. My then 9 yr. old daughter had called 911 and the EMT’s were attending him before transporting him to Tacoma General.

My shopping group was scattered in an outdoor mall but quickly everyone was rounded up and they re-routed the bus to the hospital. My Mom went home to stay with my four kids and puppy (Cody the wild Yellow Lab), and a girlfriend stayed with me. My man had a compound fracture on one arm and he had shattered his heel into a million pieces. My memories of that black Friday are dark; I remember seeing him and fainting, hours of waiting in a dark and cold waiting room while he was in surgery, a dear friend who worked at the hospital giving me a tour of the Lab to take my mind off things (Maggie is now in Heaven due to Breast Cancer~what a blessing she was that night), and singing “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” in my head as I was driven home in the middle of the night.

The day before had been Thanksgiving and 24 hours later I found myself giving thanks to GOD for sparing my husband from death or being paralyzed... Yet I was angry. Why had it happened? It was a hard time for many months; recovery in the hospital, wheelchair, re-hab, etc. My husband was so brave. Despite the hardships, I am forever grateful for: neighbors who built a wheelchair ramp, Mops friends who provided meals and housecleaning, friends who helped with my four kids, my Mom being there for us, and Mike’s sales team who helped him keep the district going as he worked out of a hospital bed in our dining room.  Do not climb on a wet, steep roof  in socks to put up Christmas lights~it’s not worth it... 

So, on this Black Friday I worked a few hours, shopped a tiny bit, picked a Christmas Tree with my sweet hubby and thought back to another Black Friday. Not about the shopping and saving money kind of Black Friday, but the two where love was demonstrated... first the darkness, then the gift of grace. 

In His Grip, 
Jane

Photo source: http://blogs.christianpost.com/uncommon-God-common-good/why-do-we-call-today-black-friday-19005/

Is Your Door Open?

My Mama has officially moved into her new apartment in the Barrington Retirement Center. Yay! We have been waiting for years for the center to be built. The process of eliminating belongings and furniture has taken quite a long time as well. It’s been hard letting go, and yet...now she’s in a beautiful spot and she’ll have a community right outside her door! 

Being ready to “open your door” is a blessing to others. I want to be like my friend Sue, who always opens her home to others; for a meal, to spend the night, for bible studies, or just to visit and pray. 

Some people don’t invite people over because they feel their house is too small, or not clean, or not decorated like a Pottery Barn Catalog page. On any given day I might confess my current home has very hairy wood floors (even though I Swiffer daily!), but the real issue is I feel like my home’s location hinders friends from popping over. It’s not on the way to anywhere; friends must plan an intentional visit if they're driving to the END of Fox Island. And so, my hubster and I continue the moving conversation~somewhere closer to town.

I did learn this month that some doors should definitely be left closed. The refrigerator.

I prepared my overnight egg casserole, stuck it in the fridge and went up to bed. (It was a MOPS morning. We have yummy breakfasts at our gatherings and I signed up to bring a hot dish.)

HOT doesn’t describe what I encountered when I swung open the fridge door in the morning. Liquid butter sloshed out of the door where I had put the two boxes of butter I bought. Yep. The door was cracked, thus leaving the lightbulb on. The solid butter boxes were solid no more. A visual came to mind...

Photo source: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://cannabis-commerce.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/witch-melting-2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://cannabis-commerce.com/2013/04/10

The mess was wicked!! After a roll of paper towels, sudsy hot water and a few milk cartons down the drain, things were back to normal. NOTE to Mops mamas~ Sorry to confess that  I baked and brought the casserole. I had some myself and didn't get a tummy ache. I hope no one else did...

I think my Mom is going to love having friends knocking on her new door and I know she’ll invite them in. She probably won’t fix them dinner (downstairs is a Pub, Bistro and Restaurant), but I imagine they’ll have a drink together. 

There is someone who might be knocking on the door of your heart and patiently waiting for you to open it and let Him in.

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” Rev. 3:20

Have you answered the knock on your door? He doesn’t care what it looks like when you invite Him in.

Lessons Learned: 

You can't take it with you but once you move to Heaven with all your brothers and sisters in Christ you won't even miss what you had to leave behind!

Open hearts and homes~good. Open refrigerator doors~bad!

In His Grip, 

Jane