What I Learned This Winter: 2018-19

Happy first day of March! Spring is on its way, as well as Daylight Savings Time on the 10th, so it's time to look back at what I learned this Winter. Obviously, I haven't written a blog in three months, since the last time I posted on SJL was at the end of Autumn.
Here are five things I learned:
1. Having my baby granddaughter lock eyes with me and then smile brings SUCH joy! 
Little Gracie is three months old and is quite a happy baby. Unless she's "hangry" Her smiles and giggles are adorable and because her parents are still living in our lower level, I get to enjoy them every day!

2. If the term "spark joy" makes you think of tidying and all things Marie Kondo, then believe me when I say that her technique of totally emptying out your closet and making a mountain pile on the bed does makes a difference.
I have attempted organizing my wardrobe many times over the years but a couple weeks ago I did it "Marie's way."  I emptied my closet rods and shelves and all my dresser drawers onto my bed. It took about five hours, but three garbage sacks got filled with all the clothes, shoes, coats, PJ's and accessories that I haven't worn in the last year, all items that didn't fit or didn't "spark joy." I was pretty ruthless and my minimalist daughter gave her opinion if I wasn't sure about something. I'm slowly working my way around the house. On a side note, the "Kondo effect" has given all Thrift stores a huge increase in donations. Have you watched the new show on Netflix based on the book The Magic Art of Tidying Up?

3. It is never easy to say goodbye to a loved one and grief is a process.
The last time I posted, I mentioned that my Mom had been on hospice since August. A week after her 92nd birthday, she passed away on Pearl Harbor Day.  Even though I knew her passing was imminent, it has still been so very hard.  In early January my husband and I and our two oldest children flew back to Indiana to join my sisters and extended family at my Mom's celebration of life. Her memorial was such a testimony of how many lives she'd touched; in addition to her family, there were former students, former teaching co-workers, friends, and the residents and staff of her retirement home.

A few weeks later I learned of the unexpected death of a friend. Liz and I used to live across the street from each other and our sons were great friends. She was one of the sweetest women I've ever known, and it's hard to fathom that she passed away suddenly. Now that both my parents are gone and I've lost two girlfriends in the last three years I've definitely been contemplating my mortality. I am thankful for my faith and the hope I can claim in life-everlasting with Jesus.

Grief comes whether we have time to prepare for a loss or no time at all...My Mama's church sent me a little book on grief. It's reminding me how important it is to go through the process surrounded by the love and care of others.

4. The middle lanes are fastest. 
My oldest daughter was driving us up to Seattle one rainy day and she was staying in the middle lane of the highway. When I noticed that traffic was going faster than most of the surrounding lanes, she compared it to swimming lanes. (She was on the swim team one year in high school.) The best swimmers are always given the honor of being in the middle lanes of the pool. This has to do with the wake, etc. If you want to learn more, check out this article.

5. Even though I've never excelled in math, I do know the answer to this: 

Heavy snow and/or wind + tall Evergreen & Cedar trees = destruction

The weather has been crazy all over our country, but February here in the Pacific Northwest broke records. We had more snow here than we've had in 30 years. 

Schools and businesses were closed, power was off for many, and basically, no one could drive anywhere. One of the biggest problems was the heavy snow caused branches to snap and knocked down trees across roads. One of our trees dropped three huge branches onto our neighbor's deck which will have to be rebuilt. When the wind blew our power out the other night it also flipped our tall gas heat lamp off our upper deck to the yard below. It did not survive. The snow was beautiful though, for a time...

I'm linking up with Emily P. Freeman and other bloggers sharing what they've learned. (I LOVE Emily's podcast The Next Right Thing and I'm excited for her newest book by the same name to come out this Spring.)

What did YOU learn over the Winter?

In His grip and grateful for grace,

xo Jane 

Between Here and Heaven

Hi Friends. Last month I had the JOY of watching my youngest child marry the love of her life and the countdown until our first Grandchild continues: only 80 days!

I am glad I have the happy memories and our first Grandbaby to look forward to because right now my family is going through a difficult season. Throughout the Summer, My Mama, who is almost 92 years "young," has been failing. Last week she started Hospice. If any of you have ever had that happen with a loved one, then you understand the waiting...

I was with her in Indiana last week. I hadn't been back since last January due to wedding planning, expensive plane fares, and my schedule. I was excited to visit and see her new skilled care room.
Two days before my trip she was taken to E.R. and put in ICU. Let's just say it wasn't looking good. At all.  With excellent medical care, she rallied from Sepsis and Kidney failure. (We often say she's a cat with nine lives.) She was moved out of ICU. My Mom was in a lot of pain and due to LOTS of medical issues, she and my two older sisters and I were all in agreement that Hospice was the next best decision. We experienced the most wonderful, loving nurse and doctor at Carmel St. Vincent Hospital and we'll be forever grateful.

As a follower of Jesus, I firmly believe that if she passes away before I return to Indiana, that I will see my Mom again in Heaven. I had the privilege of witnessing my Mom chatting with God. I think that when life here on Earth is coming to a close, and we're approaching a time when God will take us to our Eternal home in Heaven, our ability to communicate with God increases dramatically. Case in point; my Mom was openly imploring God that she was ready and then she told me He'd been talking to her too. In all my years (I turn 59 this weekend-yikes!) I have never heard my Mom speak so openly about her faith and talk about God like He was in the room with us. It was very reassuring and a comfort to my hurting heart. She is also very excited to be reunited with my Daddy and her parents.

Since we don't know how many days, weeks, or months my Mama has, I had to say goodbye last Thursday and fly back home to my family and job here in Washington State. Yes, that was one of the hardest goodbyes ever.  So...for now, she's being loved on by her two local daughters, local grandkids, loads of friends, her Pastor, the Barrington staff and Harbor Light Hospice.

Before I left I spoiled her with some yummy treats she loves since she was able to eat solid food again; a donut, milkshake, and an ice cream sundae. She continues to get some treats although her appetite is quite small. Rather than spending her days reading and watching sports, she now sleeps and has short (sometimes funny) conversations with visitors.

I'm so thankful for how my sisters, who both work full-time and don't live super close, still manage to visit almost every day. They also took care of packing up her former apartment. It is HARD to be far away. All I can do is pray and wait for text updates. If I get an Indiana call I try not to assume it's sad news.

As the days go by I am very blessed with a community of friends who are lifting me up in prayer during this in-between-waiting time and making me feel loved and cared for. I've been invited to dinner, brought hot homemade fruit crisp, and even given flowers by the sweet family I nanny for.

These loving gestures remind me of Exodus 17:12.
"When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up--one on one side, one on the other--so that his hands remained steady till sunset."

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these." Matthew 6:25-34

The beautiful Lillies are a reminder that God IS in control and He knows exactly how many days my Mom has left...

My Mom is between here and Heaven... and she's happy and thankful and ready.
May I live the rest of my life that way.

In His Grip,
xo Jane

This song, Yes I Will, is one of my current favorites. A local family whose sweet baby girl is in the NICU (and whose name is Lilly Joy!) claim this song too. Please lift their sweet baby up in prayer that she can go home with her parents.

Small Things Matter

"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love."

Mother Teresa

I saw the importance of small things mattering first-hand when I was home visiting my Mom in Indiana last week. Due to her advanced age (almost 91!), her body is not behaving well and she depends on my sisters and her neighbors for little favors.

Millie buys her bananas each week, a gal from her church brings by the church bulletin each Sunday, and my retired brother-in-law drives her to the hairdresser each Friday morning. Both my sisters work full-time and don't live very close, and yet they take turns swinging over to The Barrington ( A Senior Living Center) to run a few errands for Mom, empty her trash, and do any other odds and ends. Their kindnesses allow her to continue staying in her "independent living" apartment. 

One of her friends down the hall took a NASTY fall on concrete before I arrived, resulting in a broken wrist and stitches on her forehead,  not to mention all the bruising. It warmed my heart to see the sign-up sheet taped to her door entitled, "Help Jo!" Every day people are bringing her meals or keeping her company. 

In order to have neighbors who are friends, you must BE a good neighbor. I learned this early from my thoughtful Mama. She drives around her residence on her scooter, delivering little Birthday notes and candy. I know she'd do more if her health would allow it... 

Mike and I are thankful for great neighbors who help with our pets, share their garden's bounty, keep an eye on our place when we travel, and even text if we accidentally put out the wrong recycling bin.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:30-31

I had a fun visit with my Mom, sisters, and extended family while in Indiana. Even though I missed my 40th High School reunion (Gasp! How can 40 years have flown by?!), I navigated through my childhood hometown with ALL the roundabouts, saw a dear friend, hit a couple favorite shops, and survived 90+ degree temps and no Internet connection. I also helped my Mom clean out her closet and refrigerator. Little things to me... BIG to her!

Hi-lights of my Hoosier trip were lunch out together at Harry & Izzy's, spending Saturday on my sister's Pontoon boat "Gracie Blue,"  and meeting my adorable great-nieces, Tatum and Maren.

Last night's tragedy in Las Vegas is on all of our minds and hearts today. How can one evil man inflict that much death and injury? Despite the horror, LOVE wins. If we can't physically help the victims and their families, we CAN love on the people in our vicinity and lift up prayers.

Please join me in lifting up the families of the 58+ individuals who perished at the concert and the 500+ people who were injured. Pray also for the police, first responders, medical community and hotel staff who are dealing with the aftermath. I can't begin to imagine the horror...

Do small things with great love...and may you know the hope that is found in Christ Jesus.

In His Grip,
xo Jane

Thank you for reading SJL!

heart photo image: Askideas.com

5 Favorites for Friday-My List and a Few Thoughts

Happy Friday!

Our week started with MUCH JOY! Our youngest daughter became engaged to her best friend-love-of-her-life, on Sunday night! We are so very excited and happy for Sarah and Nick. (I'm sure I might mention a few wedding plans in the coming months on some future posts...) We also were happy to be celebrating our oldest son and daughter-in-law's 7th wedding anniversary.

Our #2 daughter flew here Sunday after her New York City girlfriend get-away, and we had a fun four days relaxing in the sun, catching up, and hitting up IKEA. When we were walking around our Uptown little outdoor mall, I snapped a picture of my cute car because he (named him Benjamin BMW) looked so swanky in the parking lot.

Our happiness was shadowed by sadness when my husband received disappointing news (but he will persevere!) and then we heard the very sad news that a friend's husband and Daddy of three passed away Wednesday morning after a long illness.

I wrote about dealing with sadness and joy and God's timing a couple years ago in "Holes and Hope." In addition to baby girl twins born on July 6th to my Nephew and his wife (can't wait to meet Tatum and Maren!) the joy of my daughter's upcoming wedding helps remind us of life's ups and downs...

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cat away;

a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Here is my list of favorites this week:

1. Favorite Song:

My Favorite song for this week is the Chris Tomlin song, HOME. I got to see him sing this live (amazing!) and I hope my friend is comforted knowing her husband is HOME with Jesus.

2. Favorite Beverage:

I'm on day 24 of "Whole 30" and I am tolerating La Croix, but when we ate out I ordered San Pellegrino Sparkling Mineral Water.  SO good with lemon and lime slices, and very refreshing! Only 7 days until I get to sip Vino in Napa!...

3. Favorite Quote:

"I have a Masters Degree in American Literature, there is nothing I can't handle."

(Said by Ezra on "Pretty Little Liars" as he helped his finance' hide a dead body.) I laughed out loud when he said it since both my sons have their Masters, and one of them is head of his High School's English department. I hope THEY never have to use their talents to hide a dead body!

4. Favorite New Cooking Product:
We've discovered Avocado Oil. It is so light and yummy and it can cook at higher temps without smoking.

5. Favorite book-lover's deal:
I highly recommend you sign up for Book Bub if you own a Kindle. You fill out a profile of the types of Genres you enjoy and you get an email telling you about books you can buy for free or about $1.99. 

I am laying low today (as in, my kind boss is covering my shift at work) due to an unfortunate eye issue. Have you ever burst a capillary in your eye? UGLY and PAINFUL and what in the world?!!

I woke up yesterday and scared myself when I looked in the mirror, and it's only gotten worse, not better... I could totally play a Vampire. The official name is a Subconjunctival Hemorrhage, and the bad news is I might still be UGLY when we go to California next week because it takes 7-10 days to go away. UGH! I will be rocking Sunnies the whole time! Thankfully my husband still loves me even if I feel like "Despicable Me." It's time for me to go close my eyes, put on an icepack and rest it for a bit...

Tomorrow our #3 child is flying home for a visit and rest. He always makes me laugh and I can't wait to see him! I wish you all a happy summer weekend and if you're grieving, may you know the loving kindness of our Father in Heaven!

In His Grip,

xo jane

photo source:https://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/prettylittleliars/images/2/2e/Ezra_613.jpeg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/300?cb=20160510150214

Friends, Fathers, Some Favorites, and Faith

Happy Friday! Yes, I know it's been a couple weeks since I've written or posted. Why? Good question and I have no answer... It's not like I have school-age children with end-of-year activities and graduation for my son happened in May. I have had a lot on my mind, but thoughts wouldn't come out on the page as written words that would be at all encouraging.

My heart has been heavy the last couple of weeks. A very good college friend of my husband's passed away this month. He was one of our groomsmen in our wedding 34 years ago this week. A life cut too short. My memories of G.P. always include laughter. Greg was very talented, a friend to MANY and he always made people feel special and loved. As I grieve, I pray and trust that he came to know Jesus before he died. We aren't able to get back to Indiana next week for his service, but my prayers and love are with his wife and son that he left behind...
(The happy picture at the top was taken of G.P. and I on one of my visits home to Indianapolis.)

There are many, many things that happen on Earth that don't make sense and we won't get answers to until we get to Heaven. Until that day, I hope and pray that you and I can hang on tightly to God's promises and our faith. as we navigate the ups and downs of life.

Since Father's Day is this Sunday, I've been thinking about my incredible Daddy who passed away 24 years ago. I think of him OFTEN. I have his photo on my dresser and memories surface when I least expect them. His name was Vaughn Dube' Story and I am proud to be his youngest daughter. To any of you out there who have lost your Dads, I know and feel your pain and hope your memories bring you comfort.

I don't think they had colored photos back when I was little...

Dancing at my sister's wedding...

There is no way I can compete with the Mother's Day weekend "extravaganza" Mike spoiled me with back in May, but Sunday I'll be celebrating the amazing father of our four children. I wish the kids could be home! When I fell in love with my husband I had no clue what a fantastic partner he would be in raising our children. As each little one joined our family he adored them, put up with the crazy times and now continues to love and support each one even though they all live out on their own. He teaches, counsels, equips, coaches, encourages, points them to Jesus, helps and even acts as a financial advisor/money-lender. He's going to be an amazing Grandpoppy some day...

Mike with Baby #4

Dinner out, "back in the day."

I also want to wish my husband's father a Happy Father's Day. He is a retired Air Force Colonel who was gone serving our Country quite a bit during his four kids younger years, yet taught them how to lead, make decisions, help your neighbor, fix all the things, keep a beautiful yard and show respect. He also has passed on his talent for making great fires!

Grandpa and Baby Mitch (30 yrs. ago!)

Some current favorite things include: 
1. Snack: Nature Valley Almond Butter Granola Cups. (Pastor Megan, you got me hooked!)
2. Listening to: the Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey Podcasts while I take walks.
3. Making: Protein smoothies made with a frozen banana, almond milk, vanilla protein, spinach and peanut butter powder.

4. Wearing: My new Lula Roe leggings I purchased at the silent auction last week. SO soft and comfy!
5. This worship song: "Our Father" by Bethel Music. (In honor of Father's Day weekend.)
I love the lyrics, tune and how when the team at my church sings this I always sense the Holy Spirit. I hope it resonates with you too!

My VERY favorite was celebrating our 34th anniversary in Seattle last Sunday! We put the top down, had Dairy Queen treats on our drive up to the city, walked around a street fair, enjoyed a beer at Brouwer's Cafe and ate outside on Lake Union at Duke's Chowder House. (Our first dog's name was Duke!) The sun was shining and it was perfect. I'm thankful to be in this marriage journey with my husband. Did I also mention what a great Dad is is?!

Wishing you a Happy Weekend wherever and with whoever you'll be spending time with. I'm hoping you have met and know GOD, the OUR Father in Heaven and for all Eternity.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"  1 John 3:1

In His Grip,
xo Jane

It's Quite Upside Down

Sometimes things don't make sense. The world seems upside-down.

In a couple hours I get to head to the airport to pick up my oldest son who is flying in from L.A. I'm super excited that he's coming for a visit. The reason, however, is just not right... His high school teammate and friend, our friend's son Ryan, passed away. Too young...

That darn kitty Thor wet our bed again this week and I'm furious! Last week I was celebrating the fact that he had run away overnight but returned. How can my love turn so quickly to anger and frustration?...

My husband and I are in a really good place in our marriage; good communication, loving each other well, having fun together. At the same time, I have people I love whose marriages have ended or are struggling. It seems unfair...

Then I remember that we live in a broken world that Jesus came to save.

"But God demonstrates his love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us." 

Romans 5:8

Have you ever heard the expression, "Upside Down Gospel?" The grace that was freely given to all mankind just DOESN"T make sense. That's OK. Sometimes gifts are given out of an abundance of unexplainable love!

I think the writer at Grace Upon Grace does an excellent job of explaining how the gospel is very upside down.

And so, remember that "God's ways are not our ways." Isaiah 55:89 and know that things don't always make sense when they're upside down.

Grateful for grace and in His grip, 

xo Jane

What I Learned in October

I'm looking back on the month of October, and here are five things I learned: 

1. Shoes do matter sometimes.

In an attempt to save money, I decided to wear the same sling-back shoes I wore to my oldest son's wedding five years ago, to my younger son's wedding that occurred the first weekend of October. My decision seemed fine until the rehearsal. I realized I'd be walking down a grass aisle and my "kitten" heels would sink in... The only store near our hotel was Nordstrom, but I dashed in to see if they had anything affordable. NOT! The salesperson suggested heel protectors. (They do not work. They do not stay on. Do NOT buy them!) I survived the sinking and my shoes did not spoil the day. I do remember throwing my shoes to the side during the mother-son dance... I can't wait to see those pictures!

 

2. Do not assume that your cell phone app is giving good directions.

When my two sisters were in town for my son's wedding we did a day trip up to Seattle. We had a fun time on Bainbridge Island, a ferry ride to the city, shopping, lunch and a walk in the sunshine. All was perfect until it was time to drive home. As my sister looked at her phone and read off which way to turn, I realized something was amiss. We were headed straight toward water, not the highway. No, we did NOT want another ferry ride which would add two extra hours to our trip home... Thankfully we figured it out but I have learned to double-check Mapquest's "steps." I hope the next car I purchase will have a built-in GPS system!

3. "Call the Midwife" makes me want to be a more helpful person.

Do not EVEN get me started on how much I love the PBS series "Call the Midwife" that I binge-watched on Netflix! I love the characters, the voice of the narrator, the health topics, the early 1950's timeframe, the way the nurses and nuns helped their poor community in London, the clothes, and then of course there were always babies... Have you watched it? It can be a bit graphic at times, but it is SO good! The focus was always on caring for others and I want to be more intentional about helping those around me. Perhaps I'll even ride my bike next summer!

photo source:http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0118t80

4. All major moments contain love, tears and Jesus.

My son got married on October 3rd on a beautiful sunny fall day in Spokane. Oh what a day of joy our family shared!  I'm a bit bias, but the day was perfect and I can't remember being that happy! We laughed, we cried, we danced, we prayed, we toasted, we ate, and we knew Jesus was with us.

Another major moment happened last week. One of my dear friends from my couples small group suddenly passed away unexpectedly as she recovered from surgery. It has been a week of sorrow as it sinks in that I'll never see my friend Malinda again until I join her someday in Heaven.  Her Memorial on Friday was full of love, lots of tears, and was such a testimony of a life well lived. If people didn't know Jesus before that day, surely they do now. 

5. Friends are a precious gift and sometimes words aren't necessary. 
Malinda's passing has reminded me not to take time with friends for granted.  I've been spending lots of time with friends and I hope I've told them all how much I love them. Sometimes we've just sat by each other and words weren't spoken. That's OK. It's just being together that matters.
Even two year olds know that...

Sweet little BFF's at Charlie Barnes.

What did you learn in October?
I'm linking up with Emily Freeman at Chatting at the Sky.

                                                                              

In His Grip,

Jane

Thank you for reading "See Jane Learn."

Holes and Hope

Psalms 116:15 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.

Some holes can be fixed; like the little ones in the baby hat I’ve knit. (I have no idea how they got there, but I’ll stitch them closed.)

Some holes seem irreparable. My sweet friend Malinda passed away last Thursday and she has left a huge hole in my heart and many, many others... Her passing was very, very, unexpected. Losing someone is never easy, but when it comes without warning the pain feels deeper. She left behind her husband Dave, son Dylan and daughter Jordan, friends and neighbors who all are wondering what her husband expressed; “How do I go on and do life without her?” 

(4th of July Parade)

The last four days have been filled with tears, quiet talks, memories shared, food delivered and hugs. We are gearing up for her Celebration of Life this Friday and know that she’ll be pleased with the care and thought that have gone into each detail of the service. Please join me in prayer for her family and also for the individuals who will be sharing their words and musical talent at the service.

In the midst of all the sadness, a celebration in our church community has happened yesterday! A baby has been born to our beloved Pastors. It took years for little Michael Reed to be conceived and then he decided to create a bit more drama by staying in his Mama’s tummy an extra two weeks. I think his birthdate was God's perfect timing.  His arrival reminds us of God’s love and promises kept and hope for the future.

"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on." (Carl Sandburg)

Hundreds of years ago God’s people were wondering and waiting and then...Jesus came as a little baby. I’m remembering 22 years ago when my Daddy passed away. In the middle of my grief I discovered I was expecting a surprise 4th child. Babies give us hope that even though lives end, life goes on and joy can return.

(Malinda on her birthday holding a "Young Lives" baby. She would have adored her future grandchildren.)

Some holes are so huge and so painful, that the only one who can do the repair work is Jesus. It is going to be a long process... 

“Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?” (C.S. Lewis)

Grieving, yet still In His Grip,

Jane