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Showing posts with label empty nest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empty nest. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 3, 2020

What I Learned This Winter (Dec.'19-Feb.'20)




One of my sweet friends from bible study gave me the nudge last weekend that I should get back to sharing what I'm learning and what God is teaching me. Last June I realized I didn't have much to share that would be at all interesting to my little group of followers. One month slipped by without a post, and then another and then I hadn't written in 9 months. Anyone who has been pregnant knows that 9 months feels like a significant period of time. I don't keep a journal, and yet when I was writing my "See Jane Learn" blog on a regular basis I was keeping track of my thoughts and processing my feelings.


So...today I'm joining Emily P. Freeman and some other writers to share some things I learned from December to February. (And maybe a couple things from the Fall too.)

One of my favorite outings this winter was attending the Harbor Dance production of the Nutcracker with my daughter and granddaughter. It was special because Sarah danced in it when she was a little girl and it was at Stadium High School which is where my Grandma Grace Pande' Young went to school over 100 years ago. (Photos above.)
Here are 6 things I learned this winter:

1. Instagram can be helpful.
Most people have a love-hate relationship with Instagram. If you get inspired by beautiful images it can be a good thing. If you develop envy or realize you're wasting hours each week scrolling, it can be bad. I have learned that it can also be used to unite us and draw us together for the good of others. 

Case in point: Eva Love SherbondyI first learned about this sweet Wisconsin child from the community of bloggers/Instagrammers that I follow who had asked everyone to pray. Her parents, Dugan (a pastor) and Lindsay (artist at Lindsay Letters Co.) shared about the tragic golf cart fall that left Eva (pronounced Ava) with traumatic brain damage. Over the last 6+ months, tens of thousands have joined together to pray for miraculous healing and to send encouraging words. This family's ongoing story of the slow healing journey, faith, and trust in God during this incredibly hard time is such a testimony.


 Eva before her accident.


I had my friend Jenny who makes jewelry at Fairwells Jewelry create a bracelet with Eva Love's name on it so I have a visual reminder to lift her up in prayer every day. 


One of the cool things the Instagram community does is #evasarmy and #evasky. I took this photo out of my kitchen window and it makes me think of her.


2. Predictable is comforting.
Anybody else out there a fan of Hallmark Christmas movies? The storyline is basically the same in every movie; high school sweethearts finally reunite, guy meets girl and they don't get along until they realize they DO get along, an enthusiastic character gets the whole town to rally and discover Christmas cheer, etc. Every movie includes tree decorating, cookie baking, hot chocolate sipping, and caroling. No one ever mentions the reason for the season (the birth of Jesus) but the overarching theme is always loving your neighbor. The movies always leave me with a warm, fuzzy feeling and with all the bad news that is on television it's comforting to know that they'll be a happy ending (and of course, a kiss.)

3. Attending baby storytime at the library is one of my favorite things!
Almost every Monday my daughter takes her baby to the library for storytime. She invited me to join them and I cannot begin to explain how uplifting that hour can be. All those babies! They all have different personalities and watching them react to the stories, songs, games, and fingerplays is a hoot!  She loves the egg shakers, colored scarves, and is a really good listener since her parents read stories to her every night. The minute our little Gracie learned to walk she was wandering all over the room; standing right by the teacher, saying hi to all the Moms and children, sitting by the window, etc. As a former early childhood educator, I believe storytime is such a great experience for pre-literacy and learning to follow directions, and is really fun for grandparents!

Gracie Love wanting to see the story up close.

 In the Fall before Gracie could walk.

4. Before there was Marie Kondo, there was Fly Lady and she's still relevant!
Since becoming an empty-nester again (my daughter, son-in-law and grandbaby moved out at the end of the summer) I have been on a quest to organize, purge and develop good housekeeping systems. Last month I was going through my files doing a purge, and I came across my "Fly Lady" notebook from almost twenty years ago. Have you heard of her? Just like Marie Kondo has the tag line "does it spark joy?" Fly Lady's saying is "shine your sink." Marla Cilley, aka the Fly Lady, teaches that if a sink is empty and shiny, then you'll be motivated to clean the rest of your kitchen which spills over into the rest of your home.  It makes me think of the children's book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Completing one small task has a way of making us want to be more productive. I smiled looking back over the notes I had printed off and bound and thought back to those crazy days when I had four busy, MESSY kids at home. I did my best but looking back I wish I had learned how to let go of more stuff since it is difficult to organize clutter. UGH. You can find out more about the Fly Lady system on her website.

5. We're learning a new rhythm to Empty-Nesting.
The first time we became empty-nesters, we were getting used to being back in the Pacific Northwest and we both had new jobs. After that we were busy moving to our current house, planning weddings, having kids move in and preparing for our first grandchild. 

Fast-forward to this Fall/Winter, and we have gotten into a new rhythm. When my husband isn't traveling for work, we have enjoyed spending our late afternoon and evenings cooking together (Right now we're trying Home Chef. In the past we've used Hello Fresh.), taking Sydney for walks, going out for drinks or dinner, and watching shows we've taped. Weekends are for projects, errands, getting together with friends, seeing our local kids and enjoying church. Which leads me to the times we don't want to do the same things.

I am a reader, he is a puzzler. He likes "Game of Thrones", I like "This Is Us". He's an avid golfer. I'm kinda not. Maybe someday? If he wants to watch one of his series he plugs in earbuds and I keep my eye mask handy to block out the screen light if I'm tired. Because we've been married for 36 years we've learned we do some things together and some apart. 

For two months my table was occupied with my husband's 2000 piece puzzle. I'm proud of him for finishing it, but grateful to look at my table and now only see a vase of flowers.


I'm learning to embrace this slower, quieter season while it lasts.

6. My Mom was right.
When my Mom was still alive she would often joke about how young she felt in her head even though her body didn't look or feel young. I really get it now. I turned 60 at the end of the summer and I still feel around 35 inside my head. Maybe it's because I hang out with MOPS mommies a lot? I am young at heart and still discovering what I'm passionate about. My mom also thought you should always be learning. (She was a teacher her entire life.)


My friends spoiled me with a celebration on a yacht.

I took a 6-week class our church offered this winter. The purpose was to help us learn more about the way God created us and live into His call for us. We learned about our personalities (we also took the Enneagram test), our spiritual gifts, and our natural abilities and how God can bring all those things together to serve others. It was really interesting and fun and helpful. If you live in Gig Harbor the class is being offered again starting tomorrow. Go to the Chapel Hill website to find out more. 

Thanks for taking the time to read See Jane Learn to find out what I've been up to in my little corner of the world.

What have you learned this winter?

In His grip and grateful for grace,
xo Jane

































Friday, October 19, 2018

Friday Favorites, This and That

"Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the whole world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God." Psalm 90:2

Happy Friday! Today I have some favorites to share with you and an update on what's been going on around here. The view above was taken from the beach at Pt Ruston. Looking at our Mt. Rainier is always a favorite of mine. Here are five other current favorites:

Worship Song:  I discovered  "My Feet are on the Rock" by I AM THEY while listening to Spirit 105.3 in the car. It's SO good!


Beauty product:
Don't judge, but before my daughter's wedding this Summer I discovered the "Tinkle" razor while watching a YouTube video. It is a very safe, gentle way to remove facial hair. They are sold on Amazon and come in a 6-pack. It's not just for eyebrows; use it for anyplace you want a smoother surface. (My Mama passed on her Norwegian furry cheeks.) Make-up applies easier on a smooth face. The name is goofy, but it's a really cheap, helpful item!


Healthy thought posted on a local fitness chalkboard:
"Don't diet and work out, nourish and train." Isn't that good?

A favorite funny moment on a recent flight:
I think my fight attendant forgot he was pouring me wine, not juice... What do you think?



Favorite gift-book for the expectant Mama:
I found The Very Hungry Pregnant Lady while roaming around "Aunties" bookstore in Spokane, but it's also available on Amazon. My daughter, who is almost 37 weeks pregnant could TOTALLY relate to this hilarious rendition of the classic story about The Very Hungry Caterpillar. This might become my go-to shower gift!


My husband has been traveling a LOT for work and a few weeks ago I finally got to tag along when he went to Scottsdale. Arizona is one of my favorite spots to go for sunshine. We stayed at the Sheraton Grand at Wild Horse Pass. It was quite a Native American cultural experience. I filled up on as much Vitamin D as I could and hope it will keep with me through the rainy PNW winter season.



I've had a chance to see my Spokane kids this Fall and my baby girl has had two wonderful baby showers. Sarah has been "nesting" downstairs and at the same time, our kitchen is completely torn up for an island remodel. I will show before and after pics when it's finished!



Yesterday at our MOPS meeting we were focussing on friendship. (I love being a Mentor Mom and I have made SO many dear friends due to that ministry.) I am convinced that women of all ages need community! I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my tribe of girlfriends to get together with, do bible study with, and call for encouragement or prayer. I hope you have a small group of close girlfriends too! I highly recommend looking into mops.org or a local group called Village 253 if you are a young Mama.

If you are an empty-nester it can be difficult to make new friends if you've moved to a new location. Try to put yourself out there. I experienced being new in 2010 when we had to move back to Illinois for a time. I made a few acquaintances that really helped my loneliness by joining our village Newcomers club, a Bible study, and asking a neighbor to go on walks with me.  It only takes courage and a smile to begin a friendship.

The countdown to our grandbaby's due date is in 23 days!!! WE CAN'T WAIT!
Thank you for stopping by See Jane Learn. Wishing you a fun Fall weekend.

In His Grip,
xo Jane


Thursday, May 24, 2018

Shifting, Surprises, Questions and Even Some Marriage Advice


Apparently, the whole world has been experiencing wedding fever as the excitement over Harry and Meghan's nuptials grew into a frenzy. I LOVE weddings so since I couldn't watch the Royal Wedding last weekend, I finally had a chance to see most of it last night. Oh my! Megan was beautiful, (that veil!,) her Mom was so classy, Harry was smitten, the messages and music were perfect... I am that girl who watched Diana's, Sarah's, and Kate's weddings, I love watching The Crown and Victoria. I love all things British (except their food.) Perhaps that is what keeps those princesses thin-the unpleasant food options!




In our family, we only have 43 days until the wedding of our daughter. Her wedding dress arrived today, the invitations should be heading out soonish, and all the small details are starting to get accomplished. Besides working on wedding planning and gearing up for Bridal showers we've been rather busy around here.

We've packed, unpacked and packed some more: Since we decided to stay in our Harbor home, I've been trying to unpack the stored boxes in the garage. Our #3 son and his wife bought their first house and we went over to help them move this past weekend. Lots of packing, cleaning and carrying happened and we had a wonderful time participating in this exciting life event. They are settling in and it feels like home. 


Love my boy!


We've done a lot of shifting: 

Definition of shift https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/shift

transitive verb


1to exchange for or replace by another change

2a to change the place, position, or direction of move
b to make a change in (place)



After I graduated from college and got a job, I bought my first car; a 1981 blue Toyota Celica. I loved that car. It had a stick-shift but I didn't know HOW to drive a manual. 


I remember my Daddy drove it off the car lot for me and spent many hours on the hill near our home giving me shifting lessons. Shifting gears takes practice and it never helps to get frustrated or impatient. Apparently, I remember that skill.



We thought we were moving to Spokane; shift and stay.

I had become accustomed to working retail; shift and become a Nanny. 

My husband studied to become a financial advisor; shift and return to medical sales management.

I had accepted the fact that I wouldn't be a Grandma for a few more years. Well, surprise! Our bride-to-be is expecting our first grandchild in November.  We made a shift from surprise to joy and we're very excited for this sweet addition to the Carver Clan. Thanks to Nannying baby Hazel, I feel way more prepared.

We considered turning our lower level into an air bnb, but now we are shifting to prepare for the newlyweds. Yep, more packing. Our youngest daughter and her fiance' have decided to move back over to the West side of the state right before their wedding. They're going to stay with us for several months before finding their own place. Our empty nest is about to be full. Did I mention that they have two cats and we have a cat and a dog? Hmmm...
Meet Mimosa who will be hiding.

 Layla May the crazy kitty

I chose wisely: 
As all these crazy days of packing, unpacking, shifting and surprises take place I am ever-mindful how blessed I am to have my husband.  Not only do I love him, but he is my best friend and helper extraordinaire.  Despite a new job and busy travel schedule he still manages to organize this family. 

If I may, here are some questions I believe women falling in love should ask themselves about their future lifetime mate:

Does he love God?
Will he be a fun addition to your family dynamic?
Will he be excited to plan the wedding with you and be THRILLED to find out he's becoming a Daddy? 
Does he have a good work ethic? Will he support you if you hope to be a stay-at-home mommy for a while?
Can he multi-task and is he good at logistics?
Will he drive five hours to visit kids on a regular basis?
Is he strong and capable of packing, loading UHauls and moving a billion times (for you and your children; homes, dorms, apartments, etc.)
Will he share air miles with all the kids when they want to fly home?
Does he help cook or wash dishes?

Our 35th wedding anniversary is coming up next month and it still amazes me that I got such a catch even though our "courtship and engagement" was only 6 months long. My husband continues to amaze me at the way he can navigate this season of encouraging and supporting our four young adult children. I had NO idea he would be so good at everything! Granted, he didn't want to watch the Royal Wedding at all and he isn't perfect...but pretty darn close! All those questions above can be answered with a YES by my husband.

(My two sons are following in their Dad's footsteps, and my daughter's fiance' has great qualities too.)

God obviously knew ALL the details we would be dealing with this Spring and thankfully He equips us one day at a time. Although I trustI still wake up during the night trying to figure out how I'll get everything accomplished. Ugh!

 "We may make our plans, but God has the last word."
Proverbs 16:1


This Memorial Weekend: My oldest and his wife arrive tonight, my daughters, daughter-in-law, and sisters arrive tomorrow and we'll be celebrating with Sarah at two Bridal showers. After all the fun parties next Saturday and Sunday, my sisters and I are headed to Oregon for a girl's get-away! It's our first sister trip ever!!



Is your month turning out busy too? Will you tune in to watch the Indianapolis 500 on Sunday? I am a born and raised Hoosier girl so listening/watching the race was a thing. Whatever you're up to on Memorial Weekend, please pause and remember our military men and women who lost their lives serving our Country.




As always, thank you for reading SJL and I love to read your comments.

In His Grip, 
xo Jane








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Wednesday, April 18, 2018

All the Things Lately


Just your typical Wednesday here in the Harbor. Thor spends his early morning hours outdoors, and then enjoys coming back inside to eat and warm up on our heated bathroom floors. I head out early to care for little baby Hazel, and Mike is on the East Coast this week. Yes! He is working!

It took five months of applying, interviewing and WAITING.  Finally, Human Resources completed their process, and my husband got a terrific job! Although the waiting wasn't easy, we are thankful and knew God was with us each step of the way.

The benefits for us: paychecks, a car allowance, and the ability to rack up some air miles. He now has a purpose and the satisfaction of providing for his family, and I got my laptop back because he now has his own computer! (I celebrated when the box was delivered.)


Mike has to get used to traveling again and I have to get used to him not being home all the time. The ONLY thing I like about having the house to myself is control of the remote and not having to listen to his music on Alexa all day. Oh, and I can have a Chicken Pot Pie for dinner.

My daughters and future son-in-law were able to be with us for Easter weekend. We enjoyed cozy couch time, a great Resurrection morning at church and a yummy dinner.



Did you try out the new way to color eggs?  Using vinegar, Cool Whip, and some food coloring, you can make really pretty tie-dyed eggs. I did a couple things different than the link. Instead of a muffin tin, we put parchment paper on a jelly pan-I think we could have done a variety of colors if we'd used a muffin tin. I put the eggs covered in the "goop" in an empty egg carton in the refrigerator and then accidentally forgot about them. They sat overnight. I rinsed the cool whip off the next day in lukewarm water and they actually turned out great! Sometimes the extra wait-time is beneficial.


Because both my daughters are teachers and were on their Spring Break,  they got to stay a couple extra days after Easter. We were all reminiscing about last Spring when we took a girl's trip to San Diego! If you missed our adventure last year you can read about it here: part one, part two, and part three!



Since it was cold and rainy here, we had a Gilmore Girls Marathon one afternoon, which always makes us feel like eating.  I baked my first Lemon Meringue Pie using a Southern Living recipe. (It should be included in the Eat Like a Gilmore unofficial cookbook!) One of my tips is substituting some almond flour for part of the white crust flour; it is lighter and quite tasty.



Somebody else in our family ALWAYS has his mind on food. One night Thor smelled the milk in my Cheerios all the way from the other room and proceeded to beg...


Sweet baby Hazel, whom I Nanny, is a girlie on the go! She is cruising ALL the furniture. She pulls herself up on couches, tables, and even kitchen cupboards. She is still waiting to cut her first tooth!




I am still getting used to being at Hazel's house without sweet Jake, the family dog, being there. He battled Cancer and is now in "Doggie Heaven." What a fabulous dog he was. I only knew him for two months and yet I fell in love...We had to "put down" our dog Sadie and cat Tigger and so I know how very hard it is!!


We headed to Spokane last Friday afternoon, and wow was it Friday the 13th for us! A crash on the Pass shut down the Eastbound lanes for over two hours. Our normal 4.5-5 hour drive took a total of eight! Ugh. We have certainly been given lots of waiting opportunities lately. That said, we had such a fun time hanging out with our youngest three. 

We ate a late dinner at a new-to-us pub called Saranac Public House the first night, and our daughter-in-law prepared a delicious meal for us Saturday evening. We hit our favorite coffee house, Rocket Bakery for the best bagels and cream cheese, did some consignment shopping, and just enjoyed being together. We stayed with our oldest daughter in her cute apartment Friday and went to the Davenport Tower Saturday. The Tower has a great Happy Hour every day of the week and we met and chatted with a wonderful couple who had lived all over the world.

Due to an unexpected upgrade, we ended up on the 20th floor in the swanky honeymoon suite. Very nice indeed! We will be celebrating our 35th anniversary in June. The kids took advantage of the jetted tub before we left on Sunday after lunch. Aren't they clever? Have I mentioned how much I love my four kids?! (And my two daughters-in-law and future son-in-law?)


That kind of sums up the last few weeks in my little corner of the world. It is well with my soul and God painted a gorgeous masterpiece in the sky tonight as another reminder of His goodness and faithfulness.
.
"The Lord your God is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and constantly loves those who love him and obey his commands." Deuteronomy 7:9

Thanks for reading See Jane Learn. Wishing you a joy-filled Spring.

In His Grip, 
xo Jane

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Let's Talk Numbers and God's Timing


Back in the day, when I taught a two-year-old Sunday School class, one particular song stuck and often runs through my mind. 


"Tick, tock, goes the clock,
tell me what it's saying?
Time to ________
That is what it's saying."

The blank can be filled in with many options; pick up our toys, read a story, gather for circle time...
Right now I'm filling in the blank with~ HIRE MY HUSBAND PLEASE!

Yep. We're still waiting to hear our good news. We "pulled the trigger" despite NO news, and leave for a get-away to Florida on Saturday. We are looking forward to a change of scenery. Tuesday at my bible study we were discussing the Israelites wandering in the desert, feeling trapped and not being able to enter the "Promised Land." You can read more about that in the Bible Old Testament books from Exodus to Joshua. We want to honor God while we wait and stay grateful for his continued provision.

I am not a current fan of H.R. policies and procedures, but then I've never really been a part of the corporate world. It just takes sooooo long for companies to go through the process. Mike continues applying, connecting with SO MANY kind people on Linked In, and sends email follow-ups, but that doesn't take eight hours, five days a week. 

He has kept his daily routine of working out at the YMCA, devotions each morning, he cooks us dinner each evening, walks our puppy dog, Sydney, keeps our yard tidy when it's not raining, watches his shows or goes to the cheap Tuesday matinee. I finally realized it was time to buy him a new puzzle. Puzzling to him is like knitting is to me; therapeutic.


You'll notice a tiny puzzling-friend in the photo that is also a great distraction; baby Hazel. I care for her two days a week and bring her over to our home for a couple hours mid-day. It is hard to be impatient and bored when you're snuggling or attending to a sweet baby.



Mike also enjoyed being beat in Connect Four with one of my friend's Kindergartners. Since we have an empty-nest, it's nice to have the kid-distractions like we used to have when our four were in our nest. 



"While I was focusing on the speck of time I found myself in, God was busy writing a greater story than I could have ever imaged."
(Maria Furlough, Breaking the Fear Cycle, which just released on March 6th.)

God's timing is not like ours. Time marches on and the countdown we are excited about is the summer wedding of our youngest daughter. Yes, employment will help make PAYING for the wedding much easier.

120 days to go, Jane & Mike!

Sarah and Nick are really the engaged couple, but The Knot website thinks we're getting married because I signed up to get information. Ha! I get messages asking me when I'm going to start planning ... They think we haven't even begun to figure out the venue, website, budget, guest list, registry, dress, etc. We really DO have almost all the planning done. The dress drama might be cleared up at the end of the month. 

We've done weddings four times before; our two sons, our first "original" wedding back in 1983, and the tenth-anniversary renewing of our vows. The pastor who renewed our vows is part of the couple we're going on vacation with. It will be refreshing to be with friends who have known us for over 35 years with all the ups and downs that come with marriage. I wish I had a photo to show you, but they're still packed up in "we thought we were moving" boxes. Should I mention that our wedding album has gone MIA?!

Here are some other numbers in my world:

Three batches of cookies baked this week.
Six people including our daughter coming to stay overnight so they can attend the Chapel Hill Celebrate Recovery Ministry training conference.
Two bridal showers to help oversee.
Two sleeps until Florida.
23 Days until cake-tasting and dress try-on. 
24 Days until Easter!!
122 Days since my amazing husband has had a job and felt productive.
95 days until our 35th Wedding Anniversary.
10+ pounds gained back that need to disappear.
ONE LOVING GOD WHO IS ALWAYS GOOD AND TRUSTWORTHY.

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."
Psalm 90:12

In His Grip,
xo Jane

Photo credit: http://www.1000thingsnyc.com/200-water-street-digital-clock/