Thursday, April 28, 2011

Messing With His MOJO

I’ve only been out west and away from my home, husband and pets for a little over three months, but Mike has developed his own style of housekeeping. Being the nester that I am, it didn’t take me long to swoop in and make changes.

First I put away the Valentine decorations.Hearts were still on the front door. I had asked him repeatedly if he’d switched them out for St. Patrick’s day or Spring but it didn’t seem to be a priority to him. I found our Easter décor and began de-cluttering. The first evening he noticed things weren’t where he expected them to be and he commented, “You’re messing with my Mojo.”

MOJO means “to find the magic in what you do.” Was it really magical to have antlers growing out of the potato bag in the pantry? Mike claimed that when it became a science experiment he thought I’d enjoy seeing it. Not so much. The song from Beauty and the Beast about Gaston was ringing in my head- “he has antlers in all of his decorating”…

I know he’s been keeping house while I’ve been gone but our standards are different. I ended up hiring a cleaning gal to come help me with bathrooms and the wood floors. It was worth it to me to know that I got my whole place cleaned before I had my bible study sisters over for brunch.

Last night my man Mike said, “You know I’m just going to change it back after you leave.” My less than mature response? “Well, I’m going to fix it again when I return in July.” How about you? Do you and your spouse agree on cleaning and decorating? Do you have different expectations?

Marriage is about compromise. I understand that but I also have been away from my home and have imagined puttering when I got here. Re-entry is hard though. It was hard for the Space Shuttle to return, for soldiers to get back into the family routine and for me to switch to being the “live wife” vs. the "Skype wife".

I think long-distance marriage is hard, but in a way easier. If your beloved gives you an edge or says something you don’t agree with you can just sign off.We miss each other so we focus on the love, not the details. In real day-to-day, face-to-face marriage I must compromise.

“May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other-each with the attitude of Christ Jesus toward the other.”
Romans 15:5

Tomorrow morning I’ll be setting my alarm to get up and watch the Royal wedding. I watched Diana & Charles exchange vows back in 1981 before I’d even met my husband. I love weddings! What is important though is the marriage. I doubt that Kate and William will have to decide who cleans, how to decorate the castle, and where to stack the royal mail, but I do hope they learn to compromise.

In His Grip, Jane

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