What Do You See?

When our oldest son, Mitch, was a toddler, he used to race around our culdesac sidewalk on his little red firetruck. He was fast and wore out several pairs of the hi-top Converse sneakers he wore with his cute little overalls. 

Fast forward to about five years ago when I purchased a firetruck for our first grandbaby, Gracie. It’s been hanging around our house ever since and both Dommy and Dori play with it too. But…it’s not a firetruck after all. One of my brilliant adult children told me to look more closely. It’s actually a red car. I’ve been seeing what I thought it was, rather than paying attention.

I look at an object, or a person, or a situation but don’t really SEE what it truly is. There are also times when I can’t SEE what God is doing until much much later. (Or I might have to wait until we I get to Heaven.)

Mike and I just finished the Prime Video series, “House of David.”

It’s the story of David being anointed King by the prophet Samuel and it reenacts his victory over Goliath. It’s told in the Bible in chapters 15-17 of 1Samuel. The prophet is sent by God to Jesse’s home to find the future king among his sons. (King Saul has NOT been following God so he is to be replaced.) At first Samuel is confused on why God has chosen the youngest and smallest brother who tends sheep and plays the harp. It’s a really good show to binge watch before Easter!

“For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the 

outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” 1Sam16:7

In our current social media/beauty-obsessed culture, how often do we stop and really LOOK at the heart? The MacArthur Bible Commentary says the Hebrew concept of heart embodies emotions, will, intellect and desires.The life of the person will reflect his heart.

I’m late to the “Wicked” movie game, but I finally saw it a couple weeks ago. It’s quite obvious that the characters couldn’t look past Elphaba’s green skin to see she had a kind heart. In the original “Wizard of Oz”  we saw what a fake the wizard was and how much the Tin Man desired to receive a heart. 

I want to be a person who can enjoy beauty without forgetting to look beneath the surface to what really matters. That little red firetruck car that is parked beside my loveseat has nudged me to look more carefully and put on my “God Glasses.”

I’ll leave you with this thought from a Susie Larson devotion:

“May Jesus lift your chin, open your eyes, 

and show you what you cannot see—

promises He intends to impart, 

and ways He intends to use you.”

In His Grip, Jane

Embracing Spring: A Season of Renewal and Change

Spring in the PNW has finally arrived. Along with the expected rainy days I see the tulips and daffodils starting to bloom, and the trees near our house are turning a beautiful pink color I can see evidence that a new season has really begun.

I heard a term this week called “Lifequake.” Have you heard of it? The definition is, “a major transformative life event, whether planned or unplanned, positive or negative, that causes significant upheaval and necessitates major changes and a period of transition.” Our family has certainly weathered quite a few “Lifequakes” in the last several years; two children went through divorces, another experienced several pregnancy losses, and then Mike was diagnosed with throat cancer. But now, things are looking brighter…

My oldest son’s wedding in Vegas last month was delightful and he’s working his last day on the Boulder Fusion Academy campus as he prepares to move to Franklin, Tennessee next week to join his new wife.

(Yes, they’ve kind of been apart the last several weeks.) Somehow Mitch also fit in a flight last weekend to Los Angeles so he could run his fourth marathon.

In early March we got to celebrate our California daughter and son-in-law’s baby boy who is expected to arrive in late May. We held an evening shower and it was so special to gather with family and friends to acknowledge this much-prayed-for little one. 

Sweet baby Dori is going to have quite a change at her house in a couple months when she becomes a big sister! We can’t believe we’ll have five grandchildren by Summertime!

One of the most noticeable changes around here is Mike’s health.. His energy is coming back. He’s doing some workouts at the YMCA, and working in his home office each day for Pro Nexis and Wingman. We get to go to church together, and even had a couple date nights. He’s now my designated driver since wine tastes terrible to him.

As I write this, Mike is getting his port and feeding tube out. I remember that day back in August when the port was put in. It was my birthday and it was a day full of fear. Seven months have gone by and he soon will return to playing in the hot tub with our granddaughter Gracie. The feeding tube was put in during October. I’m so proud of him relearning how to eat/get nutrition without the shakes in his feeding tube. It’s frustrating that his taste buds have changed SO much and things just don’t taste the same. (Sort of like long Covid?) 

We are trying to be patient and looking forward to a trip to Arizona we have planned next month.

We are so thankful that Jesus has been our firm foundation and we are experiencing a Spring full of joy!

Check out the song and lyrics Firm Foundation (He Won’t.)

In His Grip,

Jane

So This Is Love

 

I was searching through my jewelry box (the one stored in my closet that contains items I hardly ever wear but can’t part with-yet…) I pulled out some heart Brighton earrings (anyone else a huge fan twenty years ago?.) At the bottom I found the treasures pictured above. My third child, who’s now 33, made me the beautiful jeweled puzzle pin in preschool or kindergarten. I have always adored it, along with the sparkly smiley heart crafted by one of his siblings. Even though my four are all grown up, this mama still remembers all those sweet valentines I received when they were little. Anyone else a “sentimental hoarder?”

Certain items or photos zoom me back to another time in our family’s history. My oldest son just wrote about memories and got me thinking. You can read his post here: https://trousersrolled.substack.com/?utm_campaign=pub&utm_medium=web.

Speaking of my oldest son Mitch, he has a momentous occasion happening on Saturday. After several years of heartache and a first marriage that ended in divorce, he will be marrying a wonderful woman who we are thrilled to have join our family. We love seeing the evidence of many prayers being answered.

Due to Valentines Day being tomorrow, there has been a lot of talk about love; both on TV and in church. The world focuses on feelings, passion, and gifts of jewelry, flowers, candy, and cards. I always appreciate gifts from my husband, but I’m also learning more and more about the Bible’s definition of love. 

Love is patient and kind.

Love is not boastful or proud or rude.

It does not demand its own way.

It keeps no record of being wronged.

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices 

whenever the truth wins out.

Love never gives up, never loses faith,

Is always hopeful and

endures through every circumstance.

When I married Mike 41 years ago I didn’t really understand the vows I was taking or the meaning of 1Corinthians 13:4-7. In my immaturity and baby faith I was focusing on wedding rather than the marriage.

Our pastor challenged us Sunday to insert our name in place of the words “love” or “It.” Try it. We all fall short… Then he said to replace our names with Jesus. His love never changes, never fails.

My husband and I have certainly been learning more about love and marriage during the last six months because of cancer. During and after a very difficult season we have experienced the loving kindness and equipping from God. Now we get to celebrate how God is writing the next happy chapter not only in our lives but also in our oldest son and Lyndsey’s lives. We can’t WAIT to head to Vegas and celebrate as a family of ten plus Lyndsey’s mom and a few close friends! We are so grateful that Mike is well enough to make the trip! (Packing some shakes and diced peaches!)

Only two days until the wedding! Wishing you all a Happy Valentines Day! May you experience love from God and your favorite people.

Three things will last forever—

faith, hope, and love—

and the greatest of these is love.

1Corinthians 13:13

In His Grip, Jane

Making a Comeback

 In my quest to simplify and attempt to become a sort-of minimalist, I have let go of quite a lot of “stuff.” I dropped off another bag at the Goodwill yesterday. I am a sentimental hoarder and therefore I have lots of photos, a few treasures from my parents, cards from loved ones, and some clothes with strong memories attached. 

I need to let go of the mother of the bride and groom dresses that I’ll never wear again. I will probably take them to the “Brides for a Cause” shop. Last year I donated my wedding dress to our high school’s theater department and I got rid of almost all my “formals.” Back in the day, Mike and I would attend hospital gala fundraisers about once a year. I did hang onto one simple, but pretty long back dress.

When I found out that my firstborn is getting married next month I started hunting online for an appropriate mother of the groom dress for Vegas. I was getting frustrated and remembered I had a dress bag in our guest room. I found the dress mentioned above and imagine my delight when I discovered the dress fits (15 years later-yay!) and will totally work for the celebration. It’s making a comeback!…

It’s sometimes hard to decide what clothes or items should be “keepers.”

Is it classic? Would it work 40 years ago or 10 years from now? Is it well made? Marie Kondo would have us ask if it “sparks joy.”

Joy is what I feel whenever I look at the stroller I purchased over the summer at a consignment shop for 25 cents. Yep, one quarter. Each Friday when our weather cooperates, I take my youngest granddaughter on a stroller ride in my old-school black and white checked Graco stroller that has been given a second chance. It’s making a comeback…

My husband’s body is also beginning to make a comeback after his cancer battle. Sunday he was able to attend church with me for the first time since September. He is back to work part time and trying bites of soup and yogurt. It will take time but he’s been given a second chance by God’s grace.

As the fires rage in LA and I see images of so many that have lost ALL their belongings, I am praying for the firefighters, first responders and grieving families. It will take a long time and never be the same, but with grit and God’s Grace  I hope that the beautiful area can recover, rebuild and make its own comeback. 

“To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.”

Isaiah 61:3 NLT

My favorite comeback of all time is Jesus. 

In His Grip, Jane

Holding On

 

Throughout the last four months as my husband has endured cancer treatment and ALL the side effects, I’ve been learning to hold onto my plans and expectations loosely. A couple weeks after treatment ended we thought he would be ready to begin eating. Thanksgiving was not a feast for him. We hoped he could nibble something by Christmas. Nope. I really had hoped he would be able to attend Christmas Eve service with me. He was feeling extra crummy that day and I ended up going with my kids to their church. It was the first time since 1988 when our 2nd baby (Allie) was baptized that I haven’t been sitting next to my beloved on Christmas Eve.

When I haven’t felt capable of holding tightly to God due to disappointments, He still has been holding me tightly in His grip.

My 13 month old granddaughter is an example of holding on. She can totally cruise the furniture, walls, and cabinets (walking sideways) but refuses to take steps forward without hanging on to a finger of a loved one. There are moments in all our lives that force us to reach out or accept a hand. The lyrics in the JJ Heller song, “Your Hands” really resonates with me. “When my world is shaking Heaven stands. When my heart is breaking I never leave your hands.”

On the morning Mike had his scan, I witnessed the kindness of nurses and volunteers, and the compassion of caregivers who were gently assisting their family members. Lots of people are in the midst of a hard season and we’re slowly climbing out of ours. The report showed the cancer had been eradicated! Day by day we hope he will feel better and be able to enjoy food again.

2025 is starting off with much to celebrate in our family. In addition to two grand-babies coming in May and June, our oldest son found new love this year and an engagement ring was given and accepted with joy! They have impressive planning skills and a wedding will take place in mid-February. We are thrilled to have Lyndsey join the Carver clan.

We're praising God for healing (even if it’s SLOW), provision and our growing family. 

Cheers to a Very Happy New Year, friends!

In His Grip, Jane

Life’s an Adventure 2024 (Online Christmas Card)

For the past several decades the Carvers have created and mailed Christmas greetings, but alas, along with many other changes we needed to skip that tradition this year. In a nod to Charles Dickens, here’s our “Christmas Carol.”

PAST:

We enjoyed trips to Boulder,CO to visit Mitch in his new post as head of campus at Fusion Academy, went to Oregon wine country with friends, and San Diego to visit Allie & Jared and our granddog Ella. Mike enjoyed a summer of golf and I did some preschool subbing, watched baby Dori on Fridays and enjoyed our season of sunshine. Mike’s dad passed in July and The Colonel is missed. Then came Mike’s cancer diagnosis- BAH HUMBUG, INDEED!

PRESENT:

It’s been almost two months since his 7 week intensive treatment ended. Fatigue and feeding tube are still our new normal, but he is working a little bit (Pro Nexus & Wingman) and taking small bites/drinks. Our local kids & grandchildren pop over to entertain Poppy. Nick is busy in the finance world and golfs every chance he has. Sarah started working part time at the Y and manages her family: Gracie (6) started kindergarten and loves it, and Dominick (almost 3) golfs with his daddy and is such a joy to be around. TJ and Erica got engaged this October and their Dori just turned one and is about to walk! 

FUTURE:

Mike has a scan on the 30th-praying that his cancer has been eradicated. We look forward to simple joys of eating meals together at home and going to restaurants. We dream about trips.

Mitch has met a special someone and we’re excited to meet Lyndsey next week!

God has been so good to our family despite this hard season. Allie & Jared are expecting a baby in May, and TJ and Erica are having a little sister for Dori in June.

We want to thank ALL of our family, friends, church family, neighbors and medical team for the care and love you’ve shown us this Fall. We know that God is with us and for us. We wish recovery was faster but we’re reminded to wait well.

“If it seems slow in coming,wait. It’s on the way. It will come right on time.” Habakkuk 2:3

Merry Christmas! May you know God’s love and be blessed in 2025.

Mike, Jane, Mitch, Allie & Jared, TJ & Erica, Sarah & Nick, 

Gracie, Dominick, Dori & Thor

Life Lately

Sweet Gracie enjoying God's world.

Happy Earth Day! I hope this finds you well. In our little corner of the world, it is raining today. It's pretty much the first rainy day we've had all month. The local weatherman said it's one of the dryest Aprils on record. I'm not excited to take a rainy walk but I am grateful that the pollen is getting washed away.

Here are some things I've been learning lately:

Earth day is having its 50th anniversary. I didn't know Earth Day existed until I was a freshman in college at Ball State University. Apparently, I was introduced to more than just beer and sorority life. Oh, and my elementary education classes.

The dog I rescued seven years ago really thinks she's a therapy dog. Sydney, our Australian Kelpie, never leaves my side. Like NEVER. When I get up to use the bathroom, she comes with me. When I go downstairs to do laundry, she follows me. If I go on the back deck, she wants to come too. If I'm sitting on the couch, she's under my feet or beside me. The ONLY time she isn't by my side or behind me is when we go on walks. Then she leads me. 

Sometimes it drives me crazy that she won't leave me alone. (I bet some mamas of littles can relate.) Other times I appreciate her loyalty and remember that she thinks it is her JOB to make sure I am looked after... Sydney reminds me of a scripture verse that is a good one to remember during this pandemic.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

I'm thankful God is always with me and I want to walk in trust just like my cat Thor does on our skinny railing.

Sometimes you just need to turn it around. Literally! For two weeks I thought my sewing machine was broken so my mask-making project screeched to a halt. It turns out, I was putting in my new needle backward. Ugh! If we're grumpy or discouraged, maybe we can flip our mindset around, "Pollyanna-style." Let's try to be glad and look for the good! 

CURRENTLY:

Reading- Secrets of Willow House, the first in a series by Susanne O'Leary. I recently finished The Stories We Tell by Patti Callahan Henry. It was SO good!

Watching- "Murdoch Mysteries" on Amazon Prime. We're on season one and there are 13!

Photo source

Needing- My diffusers going and candles lit. I'm going to need to order more Young Living essential oils soon and another citrus soy candle from Target. My Anthro-candle-diffuser-oil recipe was not a big hit with my husband, so I'm not using it, but maybe you'll enjoy it.

I really wanted the "real thing" so I went onto the Anthropologie site to possibly order a Capri Blue Volcano candle, but after shipping it would be over $40!! I just couldn't do it. 

Creating- I am finally working on photo albums. I will have to write a whole other post on that.

Loving- Playing games and laughing with my adult kids on Zoom (hopefully once a week.) The other thing I'm loving is our new downstairs bathroom color. We Mike painted it a pretty pinky-peach called Embrace. It looks a bit like pink grapefruit and goes good with the new shower curtain I picked from Target. 

Thanks for stopping by to read "See Jane Learn." I hope you're safe and well and making the best of this STAY AT HOME season. 

In His Grip, 

xo Jane

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

Proverbs 16:24