Today is our youngest daughter's 25th birthday and it's been two months since her beautiful wedding day. I learned so many lessons during the year leading up to her special day. I have been a mother of the groom twice and now I appreciate my children's inlaws even more! Thank you Browns and Chandlers for making our son's weddings so wonderful! Here are some stories and tips for any M.O.B.'s (mother of brides) who are planning a wedding:
The budget:
My hubby told our daughter what our budget was and together they created a spreadsheet to estimate how much to allow for the different categories such as; photography, flowers, venue, dress, reception food and beverages, decorations, etc. Except for the dress snafu we did well!
Try to avoid dress drama:
I might have mentioned that my daughter chose her first wedding dress on our first day of looking last October. Yes, I said first because she changed her mind in January. She just didn't LOVE it enough... The store where it was purchased would NOT allow returns (read the fine print!) and she could not find another dress she loved enough to exchange it for.
Here we were celebrating dress #1-back before she was expecting...
When she was able to come home from Spokane in the Spring, we ended up making an appointment at BHLDN, the wedding section of Anthropologie. Sarah found her dream dress at half the price of the first one. Shipping is free at BHLDN and we had the option to return it. The sales staff was very helpful and the experience was delightful.
We took her "no thank you dress #1" to a special consignment bridal shop up in Seattle to be sold the week before her wedding. I just received an email yesterday saying "Hi Jane, Good news--the dress you placed on consignment with us found a new home!! You should receive your check before September 30th."
We are getting paid about a third of the original price. That said, let me say it's worth the drive up to Seattle to check out Blue Sky Bridal consignment shop since many of the dresses are still new with tags on like ours was.
My daughter had an idea for the look and feel she was after, so we started checking out venues in our PNW area as soon as she was engaged. (Actually, she KNEW she was getting engaged sometime soon so we may have started the hunt before he got down on one knee. Shh, don't tell!)
All the spots we looked at up in the Seattle area were REALLY pricey. We asked friends for suggestions. We took notes and made pros and cons lists. We scoured the Internet. Our daughter had never envisioned wanting to be married at a golf course, but then we took her to Gold Mountain Golf Course. The coordinator showed us the beautiful, rustic, light-filled room for the reception and then drove us out to the woods to see where the ceremony could take place.
When tears started streaming down her face, we knew it was THE SPOT! It also helped that the cost was totally in the budget we'd set, it was only a 30-minute drive from home and we were open to a Friday evening ceremony rather than a Saturday. The food was incredibly delicious, the staff was super helpful and we would recommend Gold Mountain to everyone!
Wedding details:
Even though we'd had 12 months to plan and looked organized on paper, I began to worry about the logistics of the day as it drew closer. Things like, "how would the reception room get decorated the day-of?" kept me up at night.
Despite my fears, the bridal party not only looked amazing, but they pitched in and helped me. We were able to take a lot of our candles and other decor items up to the venue the night before when we went to the dress rehearsal. I won't go into all the details, but between my daughter-in-law Amy scaling a ladder to hang the macrame hoops and the parents of the groom (Thank you, Vanderlindas!) assisting me in securing the greenery to chairs out in the woods after family photos, it all got done!
It was simple and perfect and none of the guests knew I'd had a few moments of angst getting lost while driving a golf cart (my first time) loaded with lanterns and greenery out to the woods alone a half hour before I needed to be dressed for family photos.
As I watched my darling baby girl walk up the aisle with her Daddy (my wonderful husband of 35 years) toward her forever love, all the preparation was worth it. Such JOY!
Does, Don'ts and Tips:
- Create a To-Do list on Google documents.
- Do NOT get sucked into buying a dress the first day you look.
- Do NOT say "yes to the dress" until you've gone to at least two or three locations and tried on different styles. It really doesn't take months for dresses to be shipped so don't think you have to choose WAY in advance.
- Preferably choose a bridal salon that has its options hanging where the bride can see them.
- Do be open-minded. Our daughter wanted her oldest brother to officiate her ceremony and Mitch did an amazing job. He also wore the "hat" of D.J. and saved us a bundle of $.
- A day-of coordinator is probably worth the money!
- If the budget doesn't allow for a day-of coordinator, don't ask the bridesmaids; ask your Posse of girlfriends!
- Location matters. Pierce County is cheaper than King County, and only having to drive half an hour was helpful.
- Once your daughter has chosen her reception decor, stop looking at Pinterest and Bridal magazines!
- If it's a Summer wedding, have more white wine than red.
- Ikea, Craig's list, friends, are all good resources for decor. It doesn't have to be new or pricey to look good!
- Simple is best. The focus should be on the couple, not impressing the guests.
I would love to answer any specific questions you might have if you have an upcoming wedding to plan, so please feel free to ask in the comments section and I'll get back to you!
I will leave you with this... Mama might have a stressed-out bride if she is in charge of a High School yearbook and accidentally finds herself pregnant 5 months before the wedding!! Thankfully the yearbook got completed and looked fantastic, our daughter managed to pack up and move across the State a week before the wedding AND she was a lovely expectant bride!
God, who is always good and created marriage, blessed Sarah and Nick on July 6th.
Everything that mattered most was accomplished, and the day was amazing.
THEY ARE MARRIED and the countdown to our first grandbaby, their sweet baby girl, is only 57 days away! WE ARE SO EXCITED!
In His Grip,
xo Jane
P.S. So here's a ridiculous thing that happened. With dress #1 (the reject) we were given a $200 accessory allowance. AKA trick to get us to buy on day one. When I picked up the gown to take it to the consignment shop, I reminded them of the $200. I got to choose an accessory. Who knew a hair comb could be so expensive? I can't even... It did look pretty!
Thanks for reading "See Jane Learn" and I look forward to hearing from you!
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