Pulling Away~Reflections as I Return Home

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.” A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Tim McGraw and Allen Jackson greeted me at the Nashville airport! Well, it was actually just their recorded voices on the overhead speaker welcoming me, but I’ll take what I can get! The only stars I saw were autographed framed pictures hanging on walls. 

My Southwest jet is taking me far away from Nashville and my favorite second child begins to decide what job to accept (yes, she has offers!), I’m replaying in my mind many “pulling away moments” that got us to this day. Bear with me, the list is long even though I probably have left out important moments!

• September 14, 1988~after a rough early morning of labor, an adorable 6 lb. 8 oz. baby girl leaves her Mama and makes her appearance. Precious girl is adored by her big brother and parents...
• Crawling, walking, chasing Duke the Lab and her big brother in Indianapolis. She’s spunky and petite.
• Starting Preschool & playdates in Carmel, Indiana. (Mommy wasn’t invited to stay...)
• First bus ride (kindergarten in Grayslake Illinois-she survived a class of 35 & multiple lice checks...thankfully the critters never came home with her.) Four kids, LOTS of different schools, teaching in many classrooms and “knock on wood”, the Carver Clan has escaped buying that special shampoo.
• Talented girlie spends time away from Mommy at Gymnastics and piano lessons.
• Christian Camps; Phantom Ranch in Wisconsin, Young Life camps in the Northwest, church camp in California. 
• Mission trips; high school to Mexico, Jamaica in College.
• Emotionally pulling away (teen years-she and I tended to “butt heads often-I learned to hope and believe that with time things would improve.) It took quite a few years but oh I love our relationship now!
• Her Daddy and I pulling away after dropping her off at Whitworth University.
• Pulling away crying my eyes out after dropping her off at SeaTac for her spring study at Capernwray in  England.
• Being away from her during college summers while she worked as a camp counselor and being FAR away during her student teaching in Costa Rico. 
• Watching her leave for a year internship at the Covenant Church in Davis California.

Notice a theme? My daughter is fiercely independent and loves to experience new places.

So now...here we are. We had to hug and say goodbye see you later, once again. This time I know it’s where she’s supposed to be (but it’s so far!) Our daughter is an amazing young woman who loves the Lord and loves people and loves adventure and IS BRAVE. 

I’m not quite as brave...Even though I've had practice watching her leave over the last 25 years, the sight of Juan Pablo the Jeep pulling away from the curb was not my favorite sight.

Focussing on all the good that is happening for her, thinking how blessed I am that she gets to follow her heart, and sitting by a young soldier named Skyler who is saying goodbye to his family before deploying to Afghanistan brings me to a place of gratefulness instead of a complete crying mess. 

I cried a few tears, drank a good Tennessee beer complete with live music, had a talk with my husband  and have a new book on tape to enjoy. 

I’ve done the difficult job of allowing her to pull away one step at a time. The good news is, like I read in Sparkly Green Earrings by Melanie Shankle, “When we loosen  our grip, he tightens his.”

Somewhere between Denver and Seattle I’m going to enjoy the piece of Pecan Pie I brought with me from the amazing Loveless Cafe. (I just found out that today is national pie day! Who knew?) 

My last Nashville meal included fried chicken, mashed potatoes with chicken gravy, mac and cheese, biscuits, and of course more sweet tea. If you see me “rolling around” the Harbor with tears in my eyes as I look at my Weight Watchers App, you’ll understand...

In His Grip, Jane

Apparently after I left my daughter she went downtown and saw them filming a scene for the T.V. show Nashville. 

Southern Hospitality is Alive and Well...All Over!

Despite being far from home I feel at home. My daughter and I traveled over 2,400 miles on her relocation road trip from Washington State to Nashville, Tennessee, and everywhere we’ve stayed we have been treated like royalty family. 

For the first three nights of our road trip my hubby arranged hotels. (Thank you Marriott points!) We experienced comfy beds and free breakfasts. At my in-laws we enjoyed family time and comfort food. At my Mom’s new retirement home we got the unconditional love and pampering only a Mama can provide. Every resident had heard about Janie, so I felt a bit famous. I also got sister time!!  Two nights at the Barrington Suite were followed by a night at my dear friend’s home; laughter, flannel sheets and yummy bagels were all given to us in love. 

We were not, however, expecting to be treated like family by new friends who we’d never met. A co-worker of my husband and his fiance’ opened their beautiful home to us in Brentwood, TN. The hospitality, meals and love we’ve been shown has been astounding. 

I want to remember how this feels and pass it on. Not only have they shared their lovely home and pets with us, but also delicious dinners, conversation and clothes! Our “hostess” gave my daughter a lot of outfits that she was going to take to a consignment shop; they’re beautiful, they fit, and she’s even wearing one today for interviews. (God is a God of details.) She also gave her a classy tote and loaned her a dress coat. She just met us on Saturday!!

I want to obey any promptings from the holy spirit and give freely. I want to hold my belongings loosely and be ready to pass them on to whoever needs something. I’ve always tried to make our home a haven to anyone who needs a spot. I’ve welcomed friends, family (we’re so far they hardly get to come), college kids and even a foreign exchange student into our home. I’ve cleaned, cooked, and been somewhat of a tour guide. Sometimes though, I start feeling imposed on, and I have to "check my attitude". I want to have the attitude of our new friend~passing on unexpected blessings. 

Never underestimate how random acts of kindness can bring encouragement. My daughter has complete trust in Jesus. She knows He’ll provide. This Mama says she trusts, but it blesses my heart to see things falling into place for my daughter before I have to board a plane tomorrow headed to Seattle and leave her here in Nashville to begin the next chapter in her story. 

God keeps confirming that she is doing the right thing. Our road trip was without incident, she has a fabulous place to stay until she finds her own affordable little apartment, her interviews are going great, and she even got invited to join a 20-something small group at the church we visited on Sunday. 

Just like in the Seahawks vs. 49ers game when the momentum shifted in our favor, things are in her favor. I see glimpses of love and grace surrounding my girlie. SHE never doubted God would provide. 

"And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?"

Luke 12:28 

I believe Nashville is going to be a very good place for my favorite second child. Y’all tune in again for updates on my Nashville girl. We’re heading downtown tonight since I fly home tomorrow. Maybe we’ll bump into one of my favorite country artists?!

In His Grip, Jane

My Word for 2014

We rang 2014 in quietly with a movie at home and some bubbly.  The tree is down and been dragged across the street to the nature area that totally blocks our view of Mt. Rainer, and the road trip I’m taking with my daughter who is relocating to Nashville begins in three days. Before I begin packing, I am finally updating my Iphone 4 (it worked!) and I decided what my one word for the new year will be.

Rain is today’s word. After a few weeks of glorious dry weather and some sunshine, the Northwest is back to it’s typical rain and gloom. I’m not going to whine too much, since I'm getting daily reports from my family in Chicago and Indianapolis about their weather. Their one word to describe it is COLD!

For the last several years I have chosen one word to focus on, rather than making a list of resolutions that look good written down but never quite happen. I chose Journey my first year and it certainly was fitting since we had major changes happening. Joy was the next year; I had to make a conscious effort to choose joy every day despite my circumstances.

Last year my word was TRUST. Over 365 days later, I’m still convinced it was the exact word for me in 2013. I was given many opportunities to put my word into action. God is always good and trustworthy, even when bad things happen in the world and to people we love...

I've been pondering over this year’s word for a couple months. Actually, the word I chose was suggested to me by a very good friend (thanks Sue!) My one word for 2014 is FREE. 

 I’ve done the Beth Moore bible study, Breaking Free, The Journey, The Stories, but I still need to remember that I have complete freedom because of Christ. My list of “things” I need to be free from will keep evolving. Certain things pop into my head quickly; I hope to BE FREE...from people pleasing, insecurity, talking when I should be listening, from worry, from lack of self-control, from insomnia, from envy, from comparison, from fear, and on and on my list goes...

I want to live FREE as I lean into the truth of who God is and who he created me to be. 

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

I discovered a website that puts you with a “tribe” who pick the same word. Check out 

One Word 365. The site can help you choose a word and then connect with others! 

Have you picked your one word for 2014?

In His Grip, 

jane