Holding On

 

Throughout the last four months as my husband has endured cancer treatment and ALL the side effects, I’ve been learning to hold onto my plans and expectations loosely. A couple weeks after treatment ended we thought he would be ready to begin eating. Thanksgiving was not a feast for him. We hoped he could nibble something by Christmas. Nope. I really had hoped he would be able to attend Christmas Eve service with me. He was feeling extra crummy that day and I ended up going with my kids to their church. It was the first time since 1988 when our 2nd baby (Allie) was baptized that I haven’t been sitting next to my beloved on Christmas Eve.

When I haven’t felt capable of holding tightly to God due to disappointments, He still has been holding me tightly in His grip.

My 13 month old granddaughter is an example of holding on. She can totally cruise the furniture, walls, and cabinets (walking sideways) but refuses to take steps forward without hanging on to a finger of a loved one. There are moments in all our lives that force us to reach out or accept a hand. The lyrics in the JJ Heller song, “Your Hands” really resonates with me. “When my world is shaking Heaven stands. When my heart is breaking I never leave your hands.”

On the morning Mike had his scan, I witnessed the kindness of nurses and volunteers, and the compassion of caregivers who were gently assisting their family members. Lots of people are in the midst of a hard season and we’re slowly climbing out of ours. The report showed the cancer had been eradicated! Day by day we hope he will feel better and be able to enjoy food again.

2025 is starting off with much to celebrate in our family. In addition to two grand-babies coming in May and June, our oldest son found new love this year and an engagement ring was given and accepted with joy! They have impressive planning skills and a wedding will take place in mid-February. We are thrilled to have Lyndsey join the Carver clan.

We're praising God for healing (even if it’s SLOW), provision and our growing family. 

Cheers to a Very Happy New Year, friends!

In His Grip, Jane