Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Who Am I and Where Am I?

Who am I today? Where am I today? It’s a bit confusing living in two towns...

Sometimes I’ll be at the Target in Gig Harbor, WA and get confused at the layout because it’s different from the one in Illinois. Just when I’ve mastered round-abouts and bridges, I head back to Glen Ellyn, IL where there are billions of 4-way stop signs and train tracks.

When I taught Kindergarten, I always read my class the Sesame Street book, I Want a Hat Like That during our Community Helpers unit. The book illustrations showed all the cute, furry creatures wearing the hats of firemen, cooks, painters, etc.

I loved how my students usually knew exactly what they wanted to be when they are adults. Me? I still don’t know for sure what I want to be “when I grow up”-- and I'm over 50 years old!

So far on my life journey I’ve worn the "hats" of: a daughter, sister, student, aunt, friend, retail worker, waitress, sorority girl, wife, teacher, daycare provider, mentor, volunteer, beginner blogger, and mom (both working and stay-at-home.)

Currently I’m: a long-distance/part-time wife, hands-on mom to a high schooler, across the state mom to 3 older kids, new mother-in-law, part-time childcare provider, housemate, beginner blogger and constant packer. (I also am still a daughter, sister, friend, auntie, etc...)

When I’m in Illinois I am the newbie who is a full-time housewife trying to make her new nest feel like home. I clean, cook, garden and decorate, walk my dog, meet Mike for lunch and try to make new friends.

Here in Washington I’m the Mom who is back temporarily so my child can complete high school with her best friends. I am the part-time childcare provider so I get my kid-fix and a free gym membership. I am the friend who is without a date for events, the person without a home of my own-but totally blessed by a family’s generosity. I am the semi-desperate woman looking for a place to reside during my daughter's senior year in high school.

I swing back and forth between the two identities, sort of like my son used to “swing” back and forth between the Jr. Varsity and Varsity basketball teams. We still remember the season he played on both teams; there were different expectations, frustrations, extra responsibilities, (his parents had to sit through two games), more confidence on one court than another, aspirations for the future and two coaches with different styles… At the time I didn't know I would relate to his experience.

I have treasured friends here in Washington that know me, but I agree with the bracelet I wear that says "home is where my husband is." And so... I think about what I might be when Sarah graduates and I will live full-time in Illinois. Will I teach? Will I work in retail? Will I wear a volunteer “hat”? I'm counting on him to... “show me the path where I should walk, O Lord; point out the right road for me to follow…” Psalm 25:4

For now I'm thankful I only have ONE coach and I know he’s my creator and redeemer who keeps his promises.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

God's word reminds me that no matter who I am or where I am, that I'm his beloved child

I actually don’t look great in hats--they mess with my bangs. So, I guess while I swing back and forth between states and homes I should stick to wearing a crown. After all, I'm the daughter of a King!

What "hats" are you wearing right now? You probably know where you are, but do you know whose you are?

In His Grip, Jane

1 comment:

  1. Another thought -provoking blog! A gifted writer, prayer warrior and encourager are some other hats you wear!