Little Bitty

“Might as well share, might as well smile, life goes on for a little bitty while.”

Country music lyrics are so true; the line above is from the Allan Jackson song entitled “Little Bitty".

Sarah and I are continuing to enjoy our “Gilmore Girls” time in our Harbor apartment. We were thankful that Mike and T.J. could join us for almost a week to celebrate Thanksgiving. Our landlords were gracious in allowing two extra bodies to squeeze into a space that is meant for one or two at the most.

I have a good idea of how the Mom on Little House on the Prairie felt. One room living is interesting and I would not make a good pioneer mom. If I was Pollyanna, I'd mention how quick it is to clean an itty bitty home, but my husband calls me the Anti-Polly. My patience became as thin as parchment paper as the suitcases, extra clothes, toiletries and dishes started piling up. My O.C.D. tendencies were definitely tested. I like order. I like pretties, but not clutter. I like surfaces (including the floor) that are relatively clear.

For a little bitty while, that’s not what I had. I DID have family time though. Maybe we didn’t get to do our traditional Thanksgiving, but we spent the day with wonderful friends-they shared. We didn’t get to bring out the Christmas boxes and begin decorating the house, but I know I can do that after I arrive back in Illinois in less than two weeks. (We do have a tiny tree with lights and a festive placemat!) We missed our annual trek to Mitchell’s Tree farm to cut down the perfect tree, but we got to smell pine on our walk, play Banana-grams and eat Daddy’s biscuits & gravy.

Although it seems like forever since our daughter applied to her #1 college, it was really just a little bitty while. She got the official “yes” envelope from Whitworth on Friday. The tears of joy and her smile were worth the wait. Her Daddy and brother were here to share in the moment.

We are over half-way finished with our 18 months of living in two places. With God’s grace, amazing friends and the belief that it’s just for a little bitty while, our life goes on…

Lessons Learned: Pandora radio is fabulous-just a click and you can choose what music genre you’re in the mood for, “a little bitty plan and a little bitty dream” can totally work if God is in control, and some of the best gifts come in little bitty packages.

In His Grip, Jane

Dressing or Stuffing?

(Photo credit: oldsweetsong.com)
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! I am thankful that my hubby flew out to the Harbor to spend the week with me. I am thankful that two of our four + one kids are here with us. I am thankful for friends inviting us to join them for a feast since we can’t fix a turkey in our “easy-bake-sized” toaster oven.

My favorite item I can’t wait to enjoy every year is the stuffing/dressing. Growing up as a Story girl, it was called dressing. My Mom added tons of sage, fresh parsley and butter. It was always moist. Then I married my Carver boy… I was in for a bit of a shock that first Thanksgiving together. First of all, his family called my favorite side-dish stuffing. Second of all he used bacon in it and hardly any butter. Imagine my shock!

Marriage is about give and take, and after 28 years we’ve figured out the side dish dilemma. I now call it stuffing too, unless I’m with my Mom or sisters. He adds fresh parsley now and doesn’t get too irritated when I sneak in melted butter and some broth after he leaves the kitchen. I always get to have the moister batch that comes from inside the turkey cavity.

Does the name really matter? My children are called a lot of different names but they answer to most of them. Our God has many names. Whether he is called Yahweh, Adonai, Lord, El Shaddai, or any of his other names, we know HE IS GOD. When I enjoy the stuffing/dressing at my friend’s home tomorrow, I won’t be focused on what to call it; I’ll just be enjoying it!

Lessons Learned: Don’t accidentally buy cilantro instead of parsley (I did that one year), adding broth really moistens up the leftovers and remember; if you don’t like the dressing/stuffing, smother it with gravy!

I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving with your families and friends.

What name does your family use; Stuffing or Dressing?

In His Grip, Jane

Who is Carrying Your Load?

I was on my afternoon wog (walk/jog) when I passed the bus stop. Elementary kids hopped off the bus to waiting moms. It seems there was an unwritten rule; hand mom the backpack and she’ll carry the load home. Whether the families headed to a car or were walking up the street, moms and children were doing the “hand off”.

Being the momma of four, I spent many moments being a pack mule. It all begins when we have babies. These tiny creatures need “stuff” that they aren’t equipped to carry so we load up the diaper bags. I see young mommies juggling carrier seats and other necessities which are later exchanged for toy totes, school bags and sports bags. As kids grow their loads get bigger, and by high school their backpacks are stuffed with heavy books and projects. Mothering during the teen years might not mean we're physically carrying their loads but we often do it mentally.

Have you been hauling around a bunch of stuff? (And I’m not just talking about diapers, sippy cups and lunch bags…) It starts innocently at the nursery drop-off and continues through the school years. You notice that other moms seem to have it more “together”. She didn’t forget the change of clothes and extra pacifier. Her child isn’t clingy and doesn’t struggle in reading. We start questioning whether or not we are doing a good job at this mothering thing. We want our kids to be the cutest, the brightest, the one who recites all their ABC’s. We compare... Our loads start feeling heavier.

As mommas, we’re required to carry our own loads most of the time. We strain and huff and puff and wish our Mommas were there to reach over and grab our “stuff”.

We don’t have to do this parenting thing on our own. We can hand over our “stuff” to the one who created us and let Him share what we’re carrying. He knows our children and our situation and equips us with the strength we need to handle each day. He loves us just the way we are and reminds us to love our little ones unconditionally too.

I’ve really wanted a massage lately. When I’m stressed I feel the tension building in my lower back and shoulders and my husband isn’t here to rub out my knots. I hear the news about my daughter’s friends getting their college acceptance letters while we wait. I imagine being back in Illinois this winter without my dear friends. I wake up during the night with way too many things on my mind and can’t get back to sleep.

In Matthew 11:28 Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

I prepare to do the “ hand off” and set my backpack of burdens at the feet of the cross. I breathe. I pray. I remember I’m not carrying this alone.

Lessons Learned: I really should start lifting weights, it’s good to be married to a muscular guy with manners (very handy at the airport) and God will gladly carry our heavy stuff without even a groan…

How about you? Are you doing the “hand off”?

In His Grip, Jane

Driving By and Dwelling

“Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” Psalm 23:6

I finally got up the courage to drive by my yellow house. I said goodbye to it on June 24th, 2010. I drove by it and snapped a picture last weekend. Why did I wait almost a year and five months to head down my former street?

Well… memories of ALL the amazing family times, my four children and their friends scooting in and out the door, conversations around the fire pit out back, gardening, throwing the ball to SadieBrie our dog, hot tub dates in the rain or snow, watching the boys shoot hoops on the sport court, Christmas parties, graduation open houses, small group and prayer buddies, Mike falling off the roof, fixing it up to sell…

Letting go is hard and I assumed if I just avoided actually seeing it, then I could block out some of the pain of living in a different place in a different state without the “history”. Listening to a podcast a couple weeks ago by the blogger from The Small Notebook I heard words that pierced my heart; Home is wherever I am with my family. It’s not about the house.

I am thankful for all the events that took place while we lived in Whitley Hills as my children were growing into the amazing young adults that they have become. God has knit us together as a family and we will continue to make memories whenever we’re under the same roof, where ever that might be.

Mike was an Air force Brat;he moved often. I grew up in one house in one town. Our children are learning to adapt and be content living in dorm rooms, studios, rentals, tents, a house in Costa Rica and a bedroom at Mom & Dad’s house. I know it was difficult for all of them to leave the yellow house too, yet it didn’t take them over a year to drive by and fifty years to learn to live in a place for shelter.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:12

Lessons Learned: A home doesn’t have to be a house, I can “nest” anywhere, the Carver Clan will have many wonderful times together in the “White House”, and all these addresses are temporary; my permanent address is in Heaven.

In His Grip, Jane

Mad Men and My Man

(Photo from AMC.com)

Some of you out there might have been addicted all along…I just caught the Mad Men “bug” this August right before I flew back out west for my baby girl’s senior year. Thanks to NETFLIX, I watched all four seasons; all 52 episodes! I'd snuggle under the covers, plug into my I-Pad,and click the resume Mad Men button. I squeezed in four years of Don Draper in less than three months.

If you haven’t ever tuned in, Mad Men is an AMC show about an advertising company in the early 1960’s (from the boardroom to the bedroom) and season five begins in March. I’m not the only fan because Banana Republic even had a fall collection designed after the show’s fashion.

I have a virtual asthma attack just watching everyone constantly lighting cigarettes and I realize the men at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce are focused on appearance rather than substance and yet it’s my guilty pleasure! The fashion,the music, NYC, the decor, the ads, the men…

I was a product of the 60’s (actually born a few months before that but let’s not quibble over decades.) My parents smoked, my Daddy wore Fedora hats to work, and I owned shifts like Sally Draper's. I see furniture and food on the show that bring back memories.

My man Mike has only the positive qualities of Don Draper; sex appeal, charm, drive, business success. Thankfully he’s devoted to little old me, loves God, doesn’t hide secrets and doesn’t have a stocked bar at his office.

Due to our current circumstances Mike and I only get to be in the same state and place about once a month. On Friday he’s flying here for Thanksgiving. I feel a bit like a character on Mad Men having an affair when he comes to visit. I get dressed up to meet my man and we go out in the city. I realize that this year isn’t like real-life compared to the day in, day out, marriage we’ve experienced for 28+ years. Typical Carver days consisted of sweats, flannels, chores and couch time. We’re in for a bit of a reality-check next month when I go back to Illinois for Christmas and we resume living under the same roof for the winter. (We'll get a preview spending a week tucked into our one-room studio here with Sarah.)

For now, I’ll look forward to our “date” and maybe I'll even order an Old Fashioned or a Sloe Gin Fizz Friday night in Seattle!

Lessons Learned: NETFLIX is the best thing ever when you live apart from your husband, secrets always get discovered and pearls look good with just about everything!

Who is your favorite Mad Men character?

In His Grip, Jane

Waiting...

I got a crock pot yesterday at Good Will! Now I’ll be able to make soup and other yummy comfort food for Sarah and I in our little studio this fall. My favorite recipe for stew has two “secret” ingredients; chocolate and red wine!

Crock pot cooking uses time and it can’t be rushed or hurried. The cross-reference for waiting in my NLT bible is patience. Hmmm…It’s never been one of my strengths. Currently I’m waiting for: a college acceptance letter to come in the mail for my youngest daughter, Michael to come visit next weekend, our plans for Thanksgiving weekend to be firmed up, waiting to find out what Allie will do for a job/her life after Jan-term, for a gift I ordered for someone facing surgery to hurry and come in the mail, and for my doctors to determine whether or not I’ll need some surgery of my own this winter.

I’ve had lots of practice waiting. 4 x 9+ months of waiting for perfect little babies to be formed and arrive. Waiting to hear if Mike got promoted….Waiting to hear if the test results were negative…Waiting to find out if we sold/got the house. My “wait list” seems insignificant though compared to a friend who is waiting to find out the status of her teen son’s brain tumor.

In this instant, fast-food, internet world, there are some things that can’t be rushed.

Waiting, wondering, hoping, praying, patience…Basically this all boils down to trusting in God and living life one day at a time.

“Waiting for God’s timing brings great rewards.” Lamentations 3:25

What are you waiting for?

Lessons learned: I’m trying to have a crock-pot mentality knowing the end results will be worth the wait, a watched pot never boils (especially on our hot plate), and the virtue of patience is only do-able if our eyes are on the Lord rather than on the mailbox, computer or cell phone.

On this 11-11-11 Veteran's Day, I want to thank ALL our military and their families for their service and especially those who have sacrificed limbs or life for our country. God Bless You!

In His Grip, Jane

Are You Who You Want to Be?

The lyrics to the Switchfoot song, This is your Life, ran through my head this week.

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you’ve broken
Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you’ve got now
Yeah, and today is all you’ll ever have
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

I was helping to serve at a Halloween luncheon that was held for four different retirement centers in our Harbor town. The room looked festive all decked out in orange and black. Classic 1940’s music was being piped in and all of us on staff where dressed in costumes.

The vans began to arrive and seniors slowly filed out. Some were mobile; many had walkers, a few rode scooters; almost all were sporting white hair. The majority of the women (and there were a handful of men) came dressed in costume, or festive Halloween/Harvest sweaters.

I loved engaging with the guests. They were so interesting. I admired several married couples, a woman who left Russia in 1928, and caregivers. I got a kick out of the four ladies dressed as prisoners with their “guard”-they were having such fun! I could totally picture my bible study friends and I being silly like that if we ever ended up in a retirement home together...

A good time was had by all/most. I imagined my Mom at an event like this. She loves meeting her friends for meals out or to go to a local show. Although she’s still living independently back in Indiana, my Mom is the same age as many of the luncheon guests. I know she would have appreciated the luncheon; the attentive service, yummy food, prizes, beautiful gardens and socializing.

Not all the attendees were cheerful though and that made me sad. Maybe they were thinking about their lost independence, and I totally understand if medical reasons or pain caused their behavior. But perhaps their Moms never taught them things like... “You’re never fully dressed without your smile.” or “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Despite living alone for 19 years and dealing with aches, pains and physical issues, my Mom always tries to be grateful and not grumpy. She is always kind to those around her.

The habits and outlook we have at middle age will likely follow us into our senior years. I need to intentionally practice being more of a “glass half full” person who reflects the Lord’s glory. If I ever end up in a retirement home at a Halloween Luncheon one day, I hope I’ll enjoy myself and be the dressed up lady winning a prize for best costume.

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

Lessons Learned: Smile-it’s contagious. We need the Holy Spirit to transform us. If you’re grumpy at 50, you’ll probably be extra grumpy at 85. You’re never too old to have fun at a party.

Have you ever thought about the kind of senior citizen you might be? Are you who you want to be? Thankfully, we’re all in process and God in His grace keeps transforming us.

In His Grip, Jane

The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY, November 1, 2011

Outside my window... sunshine and high 40’s. It was really foggy earlier this morning.

I am thinking...about my Mother-in-law, Cynthia. She passed away on this day back in 1990. Too soon...

I am thankful for...the bible study I am a part of at my church. We’re going through Acts; great teaching, homework, discussions, small group time.

From the kitchen...I made "Calamity Jane" Cowboy Caviar for the Halloween party last night-it was a big hit. I was dressed up as Calamity Jane all day.

I am wearing...tan Gap cords, a white blouse, my H & M rust wrap sweater and pearls in shades of orange. I love fall!

I am praying...that I'll make good decisions that allow my checkbook balance to stretch farther. It's getting difficult to keep up with all our expenses;a house, an apartment here, plane tickets, tuition, car payments, yada, yada, yada. I found a new blog that is encouraging called Blue Chateau Interiors. It's one more tool to help me be a good steward of all God has given us.

I am going…to take a walk in the sunshine in a little while, after I catch up on some writing.

I am reading...Little Black Dress, by Susan McBride

I am hoping... we figure out where we’re going on Thanksgiving –my husband is coming. Yay!

I am hearing...chewing. I’m enjoying a leftover mini-cupcake from yesterday’s luncheon.

Around the house… time to flip my calendar to November and pack away the 3 Halloween decorations I have here in this apartment. Back at my home in Illinois I hope I can direct my husband, son and daughter-in-law on how to switch from Halloween to Thanksgiving decorations. (Maybe I’m being unrealistic. Maybe I shouldn’t care since I’m not there. Guess I’m hoping when I return in early December that the jack-o-lanterns and crows are not still around the house.)

One of my favorite things…bright red and orange Maple trees.

A few plans for the rest of the week: meeting my girlfriend for coffee, studying the life of Phillip,taking part in a Mops Mentor panel, attending a baby shower and working at a wedding reception.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...
(My daughter raised $200 for the Susan B. Komen organization by holding a bucket at a home football game.) Thanks for your generosity Tides fans!


To join the fun, visit Peggy at: http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

In His Grip, Jane