As My World Spins

I’ve heard the saying; “you can’t go back” but I’m here to say you sort of can…Thomas Wolfe wrote the book You Can’t go home Again in the 1940’s and this saying has become part of our culture. People warn you not to try it, how different it will be and if you leave and come back you’re often seen as a failure.

As I explain our “story” and why I’m back with my daughter but not my husband I get mostly positive comments. It helps me persevere when I get encouraging words, but this isn't about whether or not our family's decision gets approval. I hope to glorify God in this process. I want to share that we’ve been stretched, learned lots of lessons when we were in Illinois and that no matter what; God has been helping us with this situation.

"Return home and tell how much God has done for you." Luke 8:39

Here's what I've been up to in the Harbor for the last two weeks...

I’ve been to all my favorite local restaurants; Tides for halibut & chips, Spiros for salad & pizza, Anthony’s for seafood fettuccine, and Kinza for chicken teriyaki. It’s funny how you miss certain food spots when you move away from them.

At the two grocery stores I’ve visited I’ve recognized the clerks and run into friends.Target felt much cozier than the one in Illinois and the Orthodontist staff was so welcoming.

At church I received a warm reception and hugs from lots of brothers & sisters in Christ.I've been to prayer group and couples group and tomorrow I start back to my woman's bible study and we're doing a Beth Moore!

I’ve spent the last several days being a Mom again with a full house. I’ve been doing loads of laundry (mostly towels since the house we’re living in has a hot tub), fixing meals and heading back to the grocery store to buy more food for hungry college kids home on break.

Despite all the activity, I’ve been feeling a bit unsteady the last few days. I’ve been questioning this decision when I’m lonely or feeling sorry for myself. I’ve been missing my man, my pets, and my old routine. I’ve also been literally unsteady. I’m having a rotten case of Vertigo. My world has been literally spinning. I hope to find out some answers when I go to a hearing & balance specialist at the end of the week. I am tired of being a true dizzy blond!

In His Grip (so I won't fall over), Jane

We're Under a Car Curse

Really? My kids have now totaled three cars in less than three years? When you hear the expression "the car was totaled" don't you envision a REALLY crunched car? I am here to tell you that just a fender-bender can force our family to have to claim a loss and start over.

A few nights ago my middle two who go to the same college and three extra friends were headed across the state to visit due to the break between Jan-term and 2nd semester. I got a phone call saying they’d spun out and hit the guard rail after stopping for gas. The Audi wasn’t safe to drive so they’d be spending the night at a local hotel. They called their Dad first, not me. Should I take that personally?

I headed over the Snoqualmie Pass yesterday to pick them up, see the damage, and determine what we’d do about the car. Well… even though they were only going about 15 mph, enough damage was done to the front end and under the hood that it would cost more to get it repaired than the car was worth. It has been a money pit from day one. Enough is enough and the car is now on Craig’s list for parts (long story, but the same thing has happened to two other used cars our teens have accidentally crashed…)

You might think I’ve raised a bunch of reckless drivers- well, perhaps one of them is. (I’ll call him Earl to protect his identity.) Really, my kids just figure out a way to make me wish my husband had bought collision insurance!

I prayed really hard before they left Spokane that they’d have a safe drive through the pass since it can be quite snowy and dangerous. I guess I should have prayed for the entire trip to be safe and the car to be safe; the wreck happened before they even got to the pass. Do you ever think maybe your prayers aren't specific enough?

As I marveled at God's creation yesterday on my drive over the mountains, I was reminded that each time my children have been in an accident (3 times!) God has kept them from physical harm. “He will rescue you again and again so that no evil can touch you.” Job 5:19

Granted, the car is crunched, our budget is crunched, immediate plans are changed and the parental unit is quite frustrated. But then we remember that God has protected our kids and no one got hurt. In the end, that’s what matters most.

Do you think that “Earl” will learn from this? Perhaps my daughter was right when she said the Carvers are under a “car curse”. Does anyone have a buy one, get two cars free deal? We were already looking before this happened...

In His Grip, Jane

The Letter "G" is one of my Favorites

I now live in two towns and they both start with the letter “G”. Glen Ellyn, Illinois is my "permanent" address and Gig Harbor, Washington is my current address. One week ago I was snuggled on my sectional with my cat Tigger,the snow was falling outside my window and I was set to fly out west the next morning. Tonight I am settled into my temporary home out in Gig Harbor, it's been misting all day and my husband Mike is learning how to snuggle with my cat. He doesn’t really like cats so I’m impressed that he’s trying!

Our move was smooth. God is good! We have a terrific place to stay right now until summer. Sarah has jumped back into her “life in the Harbor”. She’s at Young Life worship tonight,attended a birthday sleepover Friday and went to a dance on Saturday.

Because we're back in the Northwest, I got to see my oldest son & daughter-in-law yesterday and tomorrow my other two kiddos are coming to visit.

I am learning to live in the moment. I’ve enjoyed doing laundry (my friend has fancy appliances), helped prepare a big meal for a college swim team (it’s good to feel needed) and spent lots of time doing my Beth Moore Esther bible study while looking out at the birds on the bay.It's been really quiet and yet I am content. I know I have LOTS of friends I can call and meet for coffee.

Don’t get me wrong, I miss my husband a LOT! Thanks to technology we’ve connected daily on the computer, our cell phones and we Skyped too.

I am really fond of the letter “G”. Both my towns begin with that letter and so does the ONE who set all this in motion. He will equip me to be the best mom I can be for my sweet daughter and the best long-distance wife I can be for my husband. Even though I feel a bit like a gypsy, I know God is with me.

"Wherever we go God is there." Psalm 23:6

My “One Word” for 2011

Have you heard about choosing one word as a theme for your year? I have been listening to the Christian radio station K-Love and I went on their website to learn more about it. Rather than having a bunch of resolutions, people choose one word that encompasses their goal for the year.

Two of my original ideas were simplify and others. The simplify idea came about when I realized that I’d be living with only the bare essentials in Washington so I thought a simple life focus was for me. Others came about because of the same notion; this year and a half apart from Mike is not about me. It is going to be about Sarah and serving others. Just like the book “If you give a Mouse a Cookie” I suddenly felt led to make service my word. I hope to spend my time in the Harbor giving more of my time to others in service.

How would I choose one word when so many fit? Well, after prayer I realized God has me on a JOURNEY and I’m not just talking the four hour flight out west. The dictionary definition of journey is: (1.a trip or expedition from one place to another 2. A gradual passing from one state to another regarded as more advanced, e.g. from innocence to mature awareness). Both those definitions describe my year to come.

My job is to obey and begin this journey without any expectations. I hope to learn JOY for the journey, PATIENCE for the journey, and have the mindset that it’s not the destination (18 months from now when I return to Mike full time) but the day by day living in the moment. I pray this journey draws me closer and closer to God.

Now you know my 2011 one-word;JOURNEY. If I had chosen a word for 2010 my word would probably have been change. Borrowing a phrase from Louisa, one of my Moms in Touch friends, my life has been a bit like "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride".

This year also looks to be one of change and adventure but with God in control I’m belted in and ready to begin my journey.

Have you thought about a word? Where is God taking you this year?

In His Grip, Jane

And So it Begins...

I'm here and this is my new view!!

I wrote this today on the plane. I was half-way between Chicago and Seattle. It was an expensive “movie ticket” but I finally got to see the Social Network. If I wasn’t so addicted to FACEBOOK, it almost made me want to quit…

After much prayer we decided back in November that I would take Sarah back to Gig Harbor, WA for 2nd semester and her senior year. After two months of planning the time has come. Mike & Sarah drove my car and arrived safely yesterday afternoon. Despite terrible weather throughout most of the country, they were fortunate to have decent weather as they crossed two mountain passes and navigated over 2000 miles. God is good!

This “good bye house” day wasn’t quite as sad and emotional as the one I did back at the yellow house in June. I know I’ll be coming back to my white house in Glen Ellyn; both to visit and to live. My ride to the airport arrived early, so I didn’t have time to walk around and take snapshots of my rooms. I did however have time to say goodbye to Sadie & Tigger. It is HARD to leave pets. I hope they’ll be OK. My neighbor will be feeding /checking on them until Mike flies back on Thursday.

And so, I’ve begun the next chapter. This one focuses on my daughter and learning how to live day by day with my priority being others. I have chosen my “one word” for 2011. More on that next time. ..

Now I need to go get ready. Dinner with friends at TIDES Tavern!! It's good to be "home".

I Got the Pick of the Litter

I know the Don Equis beer commercials show the most “interesting man in the world” but I married someone with even better qualities than him! No offense to my two brother-in-laws, but I often tell my sweet hubby that I’m so thankful I got the pick of the litter.

As I write this, my husband is driving 1737 miles across the country with my daughter. He is taking time off work to drive my Kia filled to the brim with all the loot my daughter & I could pack for our move to Washington. I am NOT looking forward to being apart from Mike for the next 18 months, so I thought I would share 20 reasons why he’s so special.

1. He fell in love with me and proposed 28 years ago even though I was going through Melanoma surgery and had a big chunk cut out of my leg.
2. He loves the Lord and isn’t afraid to share his faith (he’s written a book, spoken to my Mops group, lead high school boys, mentored other guys, taught classes, been an elder).
3. He’s an amazing Dad. He’d do anything for his 4 kids.
4. He re-married me on our 10th anniversary and on our 20th he took me to the Salish Lodge, and then surprised me with diamond studs & a painting.
5. He planned a wonderful surprise party for me when I turned 50 AND gave me a vintage diamond ring.
6. He is such a man of integrity.
7. He hates coffee but often makes it for me.
8. He always does the dishes after dinner and he can cook!
9. He makes me feel pretty even though I’m getting older…
10. He’s going to take care of the pets (including Tigger the cat) and he hates cats.
11. He was such a great basketball coach to both our sons and lots of other boys.
12. He takes me to really cool places.
13. He gives me back rubs almost every night.
14. He has a great sense of humor.
15. He is kind to everyone he works with.
16. He puts up with my weirdness, singing, temper, “blondness”.
17. He never loses his cool.
18. He’s super strong but a softie on the inside.
19. He always puts my needs before his own.
20. He’s willing to live by himself for awhile so his youngest daughter can thrive.

"And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her." Ephesians 5:25

Now do you see why I got the pick of the litter? God has blessed me with an incredible life partner.
Choose wisely my friends…I did!

Goodbye Glenbard West!

It looks like a castle. Built in the 1920’s it sits high above the town on what was called “Honeysuckle Hill”. Other schools now call it the “dump on the hump”.

When we were looking for our new town we let Sarah decide what school she wanted to attend. My mom grew up in Glen Ellyn and spent 9th-11th grades at Glenbard West. She left after her junior year back in 1944 because her Dad got transferred to Ohio. It wasn’t an option for her to stay behind with a friend or her mom for her senior year. People didn’t “do” that back in the ‘40’s.

Sarah was drawn to Glenbard West because of her grandma and it really is a cool old brick building. The atmosphere on the day we visited seemed open and eclectic. She felt she could be “herself” here.

We've learned not to judge too quickly, and that looks can be deceiving…

Stairs that are hard to navigate (especially with a boot on your foot caused by a big brother falling on her and tearing ligaments)…
No bus service to our street, therefore part of the crazy morning traffic (note picture)…
Girls that don’t make you feel welcome…
Boys that don’t ask you out…
Kids that have never heard of Young Life…
Fights breaking out weekly (usually between girls) so the police have to come...
Sports teams that are ridiculously competitive...
Lunches skipped and spent in the library since there’s no one to sit with…
Stupid tardy rules that force good girls to earn detention…
Feeling invisible…

Those are just some of the reasons why my daughter is thrilled that tomorrow is her LAST DAY at Glenbard West High School.Her teachers have been great and if she'd grown up here it probably would have been a cool experience. The football stadium overlooks a lake and the town has a lot of team spirit.

The last five months seemed like a lifetime. As soon as finals are over in the morning, my husband will finish cramming the car full of stuff and off they’ll head to Washington. I know she’ll take this experience and use it in her future. “The crushed rose gives off the sweetest fragrance.”

Goodbye Glenbard West!

What Would You Pack?

It’s like I’m packing for college as my daughter and I leave our home here in Illinois and head back to Washington, I’m obviously not taking everything since it needs to fit in my Kia. My husband Mike will be here and I’ll be returning when Sarah leaves for college. I watched the new “Freshman Class” of politicians head to D.C. (the other Washington) earlier this month and thought they live in two states also. I wonder if it was difficult for them to pack?

Sarah and I are fortunate to be spending the next 5-6 months with a wonderful church friend who lives on the water. I can’t wait for the view! By mid-summer we’ll be looking for an apartment or home to rent so that whole furniture thing could be a bit of a challenge…

What should I take besides clothes, blankets, toiletries, jewelry, books, bible, favorite photos, coffee pot… I am quite the “nester”, so this is going to be rather difficult for me; living with necessities rather than decor. I wonder if my love of decorating magazines will diminish since I won’t be spending any time decorating…

What is really important to me that I’ll want with me besides my husband and two pets that I unfortunately have to leave here?

I’ve helped three of my four children pack for the dorm. I should have this figured out. I’m just going to take what I LOVE. Shouldn’t we always just keep what we love and give the rest away to people in need? I’ve got a bunch of “stuff” here that I probably won’t even miss.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven." Matthew 6:19,20

So… back to packing. What would YOU make sure to take? I’ve got my web cam so I can skype with my husband, my camera so I can record new memories for Facebook and my blog, and I’ll have my very content daughter who gets to jump back into her “life” back in the Harbor.

Time for a Seahawks Victory!

What fun it was to watch our former city’s football team win the game yesterday! Saturday’s game between the Seahawks (worst team record in the league) and the Saints (last year’s Super bowl champions) was a bit like David fighting Goliath. No one expected the outcome

The announcers were a bit shocked that Drew Brees and his team were beat. The fans (known as the 12th man) didn’t care HOW we made it to the play-offs, they were cheering on their quarterback, Matt and the whole team. Things just worked together to make it possible for “the giant” to be beat 41-36. Just like the success of the Saints brought the whole town of New Orleans together, I’m sure Western Washington is a happy place right now.

I’m glad God doesn’t care about our past and doesn’t keep a record of our mistakes. He’s focused on the present and our future. We’ve got a crowd cheering us on (believers who are already in Heaven, friends & disciples in our church) and we’re getting our power not from Gatorade and workouts but the Holy Spirit. God wants us to be successful while our address is earth, and live for our future in eternity.

We all love an underdog and it’s always an encouragement when someone receives grace and their past is forgiven. It’s exciting to think about the Seahawks having at chance at being in the Super Bowl when the odds are against them.

Who knew football and God had so much in common?
GO SEAHAWKS!!

Time With Tig

We’ve got a routine. I sit down for my quiet time on the couch or chair by the window with my steaming cup of coffee. Usually I have a fuzzy, soft robe on. Tigger, my fat orange tabby cat jumps up beside me. He climbs on my lap and sits up nice and tall. Then he gets really close to my face and just stares at me. He probably wonders why my eyes look so enormous since I usually still have my glasses on instead of my contacts. Next he sniffs me. Yep it’s me, Tigger! I’m the one who loves you, rescued you as a tiny kitten 9 years ago, scoops your litter box and spoils you with stinky wet food at night.

Once he’s satisfied that I am who he thinks I am he lays down on my chest, snuggles and begins to purr. I am really going to miss him when I leave for Washington. The pets are staying here with Mike since I’ll be living in someone’s home. There is a chance the cat could come next year if we’re in a place that allows pets.

I had lots of things I needed to start doing this morning, but I just wanted to sit still with my purring cat while I talked to God. I sort of had a flashback to when my four children were babies and they would fall asleep on my chest. There is such contentment in the simple act of being with someone we love (human, furry or our God). Remember the poem about I’m rocking my baby and cleaning can wait? Well, right now I would rather snuggle than head up to clean my bathroom.

Just as Tigger wants to feel secure with me, I feel the need to be in the safe “lap” of God. He encourages me to come closer, lets me really “see” who He is and that He can be trusted, then wraps His loving arms around me and draws me closer. I am content.

Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms.Psalm 68:19

So, in the next 11 days before I hug my pets goodbye I’ll just be spending as much time cuddling as I can.

In His Grip... Jane

Two Weeks and Counting...

Another count-down… Many of you know that my husband and I decided to join the ranks of couples who live apart for a time due to circumstances. We feel it’s best if I take our youngest daughter back where she grew up so she can finish her last year and a half of high school in Washington.

I feel a bit “deployed”. Just like a soldier who is passionate about his/her country and has a duty to fulfill, yet doesn’t want to leave family behind, I must go. Instead of the fear of war or the unknown, I am returning to a loving community and great friends. The difficult part will be leaving my husband, dog and cat, and the new life we were beginning to create. I also fear getting re-attached to my former town, only to have to give it up and return to Illinois when my daughter leaves for college.

But for now I must write lists, pack, organize and clean. I have two weeks until I board a plane headed west. Two weeks to run errands, say goodbye at bible study and prayer group, take my “puppy” for walks in the chilly Chicago weather and relish the time with my man in front of our warm fireplaces.

An update on the stolen GPS… The police found it! We don’t have to buy a third Tom-Tom!I am learning to trust.

“I will not be afraid, because the Lord is my helper.” Hebrews 13:6

It's Time for New Adventures

Happy New Year! It has quietly turned into 2011 here in our home. (I actually missed ringing in the new year at midnight since my nasty cold had me climbing into bed early.) I must be sick if I chose bed over chocolate fondue, champagne and games with my family.

I want to thank all my friends and family (and some new blog friends) for reading my blog over the last six months. I hope to become more intentional and regular in the new year.

2010 was full of highs and lows.
Highs: Mike got a promotion, T.J. graduated from high school and started college at Whitworth University, Allie got to go to Europe for school & travel, we sold our yellow house and bought our current one in Illinois, I made some new friends,went to Disney World & MGM with the girls, saw Beth Moore live, and MITCH & AMY GOT MARRIED!!

Lows: I had to leave the town, church, house and friends I love, I was sick for three months, Sarah had a miserable experience at her new school, and we had two car thefts; golf clubs & GPS stolen on Mike's trip, our replaced GPS taken LAST NIGHT out of my car.

Our new year began with a police officer knocking at our door at 6:00 a.m.this morning to inform us that our car had probably been broken into and yep, it was the latest burglar who steals, then leaves the car door open as his "signature". Happy New Year?...I am trying to be more "glass-half-full" since my husband calls me the Anti-Polly (remember the movie Pollyanna and her glad game?) So, I am thankful my car wasn't hurt and our home wasn't broken into.

In 2011 I hope to focus on all the blessings God has provided to our family and no matter what remember He is good, all the time. So now it's another countdown until I'm off on another adventure-back to Washington for a 18 months! More details to follow...